Writing!!

Writing Prompt!!

"After years of leading a normal life, you discover you have a special ability. Afraid to share this information with anyone, you confide only in your closest friend. To your surprise, your friend shares some information with you—he also has a super power."


On with the Story!!:


So after my vindictive and bitterly resentful conversation with Tom/Dick/Harry and the Bimbo, I decided to go home, grab something to eat, and go for a run.

When I strolled into my apartment it was around 7pm and already starting to get dark, as soon as I take my shoes off I step in something slimy and disgustingly chilled, holding back my urge to vomit, I reach for the light switch, there on the floor is a pile of half chewed friskies canned catfood; Hubert, my chubby, lamentably balding cat-turned-syphills-infected-insurance-selling-boyfriend, looks up at me from where he lay in the middle of the living room licking where his balls used to be (HAHA! Pre-Crime Punishment) and gazes disdainfully at me. I get the alarming sensation that he is trying to will me to die, just for trying to feed him Friskies instead of the gourment $6 a can stuff he used to. I glare at him till he goes back to what he was doing, and look around to assess the damage, Hubert as miraculously (and laws of mass defyingly) managed to splatter, smear, or otherwise deface every surface in my kitchen with a single can of Friskies cat food.

It takes me over an hour to clean it up, all the while pondering how I go about slaughtering the haughty feline without being caught by some dogooding PETA supporting busybody neighbor. Deciding to skip eating, I dart into my bedroom and change into my running clothes, giving Hubert one final glare, I set out on my 15 mile daily run (hahaha yeah right). It's quite dark by now and I am alone on the streets heading out towards the contryside, the miles fly by until I reach the large oak tree that marks my halfway point, I am just about to turn around when a black Porsche comes screaming around the bend up the road, skids across the slick pavement, and the last thought I have before it plows into me is "Hahahaha I burned Tom/Dick/Harry so good."

...

I feel wetness on my face, and my body is screaming in abject agony, it feels like I have torn every muscle in my body, I open my eyes, and look around, I am lying in the mud near the side of the road, the oak tree is torn up from the ground and tossed haphazardly about 30 feet to my right, there are deep furrows dug into the ground all around me, and my clothes are torn to shreds. I KNOW that car hit me!! How am I still alive? What the hell is going on? I know exactly who to call, my brother is a superdork he will know what happened!!

After I drag myself home and shower I phone my brother.

"Brensteve!! Something very strange is going on!! I got hit by a car last night and I'M FINE!! It was so horrible I woke up this morning and the area around me was completely destroyed!! There was even a huge oak laying 50 feet from wher it should've been!! What do you think is going on?" I cry hysterically.

Brensteve is quiet for a moment then says, "Hmmm, the gamma radiation I exposed you to when you crashed here last month may have done something to your physiology, how are you feeling right now?"

I stare incensed at the phone for a moment before the most unantural rage overcomes me and I start to see GREEN! "You INFECTED me with GAMMA RADIATION!!?!?!? What the hell is wrong with you?"

I cannot control my rage, losing control, any intelligence I have goes the way of the dodo, and I scream, "HULK SMASH!!!" And proceed to destroy my apartment, grabbing a mirror I look at my now green face-

"Um Empress of Awesome? Um, not to correct you or dampen your creative story writing, but I believe this is what's called copyright infringement... not to correct you or anything"

"..."

"It's just that the HULK belongs to Marvel comics and, umm... You have that look in your eye Empress"

"FORTY LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE!!! For your big fat information as the Empress of Awesome I own ALL the rights to ALL the decent superheroes!! HULK SMASH"

the End