Writing Prompt!!
"After years of leading a normal life, you discover you have a special ability. Afraid to share this information with anyone, you confide only in your closest friend. To your surprise, your friend shares some information with you—he also has a super power."
On with the Story!!:
So after my vindictive and bitterly resentful conversation with Tom/Dick/Harry and the Bimbo, I decided to go home, grab something to eat, and go for a run.
When I strolled into my apartment it was around 7pm and already starting to get dark, as soon as I take my shoes off I step in something slimy and disgustingly chilled, holding back my urge to vomit, I reach for the light switch, there on the floor is a pile of half chewed friskies canned catfood; Hubert, my chubby, lamentably balding cat-turned-syphills-infected-insurance-selling-boyfriend, looks up at me from where he lay in the middle of the living room licking where his balls used to be (HAHA! Pre-Crime Punishment) and gazes disdainfully at me. I get the alarming sensation that he is trying to will me to die, just for trying to feed him Friskies instead of the gourment $6 a can stuff he used to. I glare at him till he goes back to what he was doing, and look around to assess the damage, Hubert as miraculously (and laws of mass defyingly) managed to splatter, smear, or otherwise deface every surface in my kitchen with a single can of Friskies cat food.
It takes me over an hour to clean it up, all the while pondering how I go about slaughtering the haughty feline without being caught by some dogooding PETA supporting busybody neighbor. Deciding to skip eating, I dart into my bedroom and change into my running clothes, giving Hubert one final glare, I set out on my 15 mile daily run (hahaha yeah right). It's quite dark by now and I am alone on the streets heading out towards the contryside, the miles fly by until I reach the large oak tree that marks my halfway point, I am just about to turn around when a black Porsche comes screaming around the bend up the road, skids across the slick pavement, and the last thought I have before it plows into me is "Hahahaha I burned Tom/Dick/Harry so good."
...
I feel wetness on my face, and my body is screaming in abject agony, it feels like I have torn every muscle in my body, I open my eyes, and look around, I am lying in the mud near the side of the road, the oak tree is torn up from the ground and tossed haphazardly about 30 feet to my right, there are deep furrows dug into the ground all around me, and my clothes are torn to shreds. I KNOW that car hit me!! How am I still alive? What the hell is going on? I know exactly who to call, my brother is a superdork he will know what happened!!
After I drag myself home and shower I phone my brother.
"Brensteve!! Something very strange is going on!! I got hit by a car last night and I'M FINE!! It was so horrible I woke up this morning and the area around me was completely destroyed!! There was even a huge oak laying 50 feet from wher it should've been!! What do you think is going on?" I cry hysterically.
Brensteve is quiet for a moment then says, "Hmmm, the gamma radiation I exposed you to when you crashed here last month may have done something to your physiology, how are you feeling right now?"
I stare incensed at the phone for a moment before the most unantural rage overcomes me and I start to see GREEN! "You INFECTED me with GAMMA RADIATION!!?!?!? What the hell is wrong with you?"
I cannot control my rage, losing control, any intelligence I have goes the way of the dodo, and I scream, "HULK SMASH!!!" And proceed to destroy my apartment, grabbing a mirror I look at my now green face-
"Um Empress of Awesome? Um, not to correct you or dampen your creative story writing, but I believe this is what's called copyright infringement... not to correct you or anything"
"..."
"It's just that the HULK belongs to Marvel comics and, umm... You have that look in your eye Empress"
"FORTY LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE!!! For your big fat information as the Empress of Awesome I own ALL the rights to ALL the decent superheroes!! HULK SMASH"
the End
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Nikki!! - Rediculously Sentimental!!
Hi!! This is my cousin Nikki!! On facebook I threatened to do a post all about her if she didn't repond to all the nagging I was doing about reading my blog, she didn't so here is the Nikki Post!!
Here are just some of the reasons that everyone should love Nikki like I do:
1. She is the type of person who would bring you the lovelist flowers for something as simple as giving her a ride somwhere. (Those flowers absolutely made my week)
2. She uses sarcasm with the same frequency and success that I do.
3. I have never had to explain a joke to her.
4. She would never deliberatley do anything to hurt some one she cared about and would be horrified if she did by accident.
5. She adores the Niece of Awesomeness the way she should.
6. She'd do almost anything to help a friend.
7. She is generous.
8. She is tied with the Little Sister Of Awesomeness for being the most non-judgemental person I know.
9. She is the BEST person to have a laugh with, cause she does it freely and keeps you laughing with her.
10.She is VERY intelligent, and is ALWAYS a good person for witty conversation.
11.She gives hella good hugs.
12.She has the most wicked sense of humour
13.I can't remember a single time, even as little kids, where we had a serious argument, but I have no doubt that if we did we'd be buddies again within an hour.
14.She has nifty tattoos!
Um, I could write down more things, but I need to find a tissue, I got something in my eye....
So...
I just dsicovered this web page: http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts/
I am contemplating doing a post every once in a while (hell maybe several times a day) based on one of these writing prompts, as the webpage states my response should be 500 words or less (which may be difficult 'cause I likes mme words, and hearing my self talk-er type), So! here goes!!
Writing Prompt Numero Uno:
"You bump into an ex-lover on Valentine's Day—the one whom you often call "The One That Got Away." What happens?"
"Oh Hello Tom/Dick/Harry!! How is that mutliple personality thing going for you?" I say cheerfully, smiling at the alarmed looking bimbo on his arm.
"Hey, shush, you know I got help for that!" Tom or maybe Dick mumbles to me, out of the corner of his mouth, turning to the bimbo he says "She's got some sense of humour eh?"
Bimbo laughs nervously, and says "Riiiiiiight, so did you two used to date?"
I roll my eyes, "Of course not, I exercise this kind flagrant animosity to perfect strangers unfortunate enough to cross my path."
An awkward silence follows, until Dick or Harry says "So seeing anyone?"
To which I reply " Oh yes!! His name is Hubert, he sells insurance, he is so nice, and despite the fact he's a little shorter than me, I like the fact I can see myself in his shiny little bald spot. He also treats me like a princess!"
Bimbo starts to smile condesendingly, and as she is about to open her overly collegen pumped lips to brainlessly insult me, I look at Tom/Dick/Harry, and say " We met at that syphyllis support group you referred me to, oh by the way, Gene says you shouldn't've stopped coming given that you got so far behind on your treatments. Tootles"
I walk away leaving "The One That Got Away... cause I can't shoot drunk" with a dumb struck look on his face,a nd the Bimbo turning the most unattractive shade of chartruse, I hope one of her implants ruptured.
I am contemplating doing a post every once in a while (hell maybe several times a day) based on one of these writing prompts, as the webpage states my response should be 500 words or less (which may be difficult 'cause I likes mme words, and hearing my self talk-er type), So! here goes!!
Writing Prompt Numero Uno:
"You bump into an ex-lover on Valentine's Day—the one whom you often call "The One That Got Away." What happens?"
"Oh Hello Tom/Dick/Harry!! How is that mutliple personality thing going for you?" I say cheerfully, smiling at the alarmed looking bimbo on his arm.
"Hey, shush, you know I got help for that!" Tom or maybe Dick mumbles to me, out of the corner of his mouth, turning to the bimbo he says "She's got some sense of humour eh?"
Bimbo laughs nervously, and says "Riiiiiiight, so did you two used to date?"
I roll my eyes, "Of course not, I exercise this kind flagrant animosity to perfect strangers unfortunate enough to cross my path."
An awkward silence follows, until Dick or Harry says "So seeing anyone?"
To which I reply " Oh yes!! His name is Hubert, he sells insurance, he is so nice, and despite the fact he's a little shorter than me, I like the fact I can see myself in his shiny little bald spot. He also treats me like a princess!"
Bimbo starts to smile condesendingly, and as she is about to open her overly collegen pumped lips to brainlessly insult me, I look at Tom/Dick/Harry, and say " We met at that syphyllis support group you referred me to, oh by the way, Gene says you shouldn't've stopped coming given that you got so far behind on your treatments. Tootles"
I walk away leaving "The One That Got Away... cause I can't shoot drunk" with a dumb struck look on his face,a nd the Bimbo turning the most unattractive shade of chartruse, I hope one of her implants ruptured.
Snapey
Aw, doesn't he look so sad in this picture? Poor, poor, Severus, don't you just want to hug him? (Brent, let me give you a pre-emptive shut up/go suck a lemon) That's one of the promo posters from HBP, can't wait for that movie, I could squeal with glee. Anyone who doesn't know what happens in the sixth book leads a wholey boring and unelightened non-life.
I've even gotten my mommy to read these books, she was bored one day, and I had been nagging her to read them since I first discovered their indescribable awesomeness [again, Brent, shut up, this is my blog, and since I am the Empress of Awesomeness, your opinions of Harry Potter and all things related to him and merry band of miscreants is invalid, plus you haven't read the books so that makes your disdain for them unreasonable]and she finally said "FINE" [we will ignore her unenlighted lack of excitement]and she spent the next week reading them at every free moment, she even woke me up at like 1 am to find the next book (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, a convert!!!) But that was like before book 7 came out and she has since forgotten the joys Harry's adventures (sad but true).
Let me remind the Harry Potter Nay-Sayers (Brent) that arguing with the Empress of Awesomeness carries a punishment of 40 lashes with a wet noodle adminstered by Hagrid... nude.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Future Family Portrait
Could happen.
*You may notice that I look a little frazzled in the picture but really, can you blame me? Look at the size of those kids heads!! I'm probably still walking with a limp.
Slow Torture ~
Better Known as Teeth Cleaning.
Usually, I am not one to whine about routine things like dentist visits, but HOLY HELL!! did I suffer this morning, I think my gums are still bleeding. Routine Teeth Cleaning my ass, as nice as the lovely dental hygenist (I think that's who does the teeth cleaning) was, it was horrible. The scraping and the digging, and the grinding, god even the sounds were awful; not to mention how much I enjoy drooling all over myself from having my mouth open for that long. At least the flouride treatment tasted like bubble gum, but I think I swallowed some of it which I kinda think isn't a good thing... and I got a free toothbrush and dental floss (YAY!) it's like "Hey! I just finished torturing you so badly your great-great-great-great grand descendents will feel it but here's some implements of horrific agony of your very own to see you through till your next cleaning." ( say implements of horrific agony here cause after this morning anything even remotely resembling tooth cleaning devices seems awful)
And to top it ALL off, I scheduled the appointment to get my other two wisdom teeth out... Peachy Keen, bring on the soul sucking agony, hopefully this time I can avoid an infection that swells the side of my face to the point where I look like the bad half of Rush Limbaugh*
.....
*Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 10,000 bonus points if you can figure which side is his bad side.
Usually, I am not one to whine about routine things like dentist visits, but HOLY HELL!! did I suffer this morning, I think my gums are still bleeding. Routine Teeth Cleaning my ass, as nice as the lovely dental hygenist (I think that's who does the teeth cleaning) was, it was horrible. The scraping and the digging, and the grinding, god even the sounds were awful; not to mention how much I enjoy drooling all over myself from having my mouth open for that long. At least the flouride treatment tasted like bubble gum, but I think I swallowed some of it which I kinda think isn't a good thing... and I got a free toothbrush and dental floss (YAY!) it's like "Hey! I just finished torturing you so badly your great-great-great-great grand descendents will feel it but here's some implements of horrific agony of your very own to see you through till your next cleaning." ( say implements of horrific agony here cause after this morning anything even remotely resembling tooth cleaning devices seems awful)
And to top it ALL off, I scheduled the appointment to get my other two wisdom teeth out... Peachy Keen, bring on the soul sucking agony, hopefully this time I can avoid an infection that swells the side of my face to the point where I look like the bad half of Rush Limbaugh*
.....
*Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 10,000 bonus points if you can figure which side is his bad side.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Hottie!! (Yes I am serious)
Hottie Moniker: Alan Rickman God of the Sexy Voice (Well it should be)
Best Known for: Hogwarts Smexy Potions Master (mmmmmmmm, Master) but honestly just the tip of the iceberg for his awesomeness.
Place of Birth: Hammersmith, London, England (that's in Europe, for the unedumacated inbred hillbillies that read this blog)
DoB: February 21, 1946 (hmm he's actually 63 hmmmmm)
Worth Checking out: An Awfully Big Adventure ( I still don't understand why it's called that), Die Hard, Dogma, ANYTHING ELSE HE HAS EVER GRACED WITH HIS PRESENCE EVER!!
Additional FanGirl schpeel: So hot, he has a voice perfectly made for brutal (but hilarious) sarcasm and wickedly naughty whispers, I seriously could listen to him talk for hours on end. And he has an AWESOME sense of humour, love love love. And Ya know... British! *drools*
Inner Lesbian Happy Dance Hottie:
I am to lazy to write up a whole thing about her, suffice it to say, I think she's hot, I like that she's curvy, seems mildly intelligent, and I just think she's pretty. I can't make any comment on her acting ability cause I've never seen anything she's done, but who cares? She's a fox.
Quote of the Whenever!! Also PG-13
Since I appear to be on an Alan Rickman kick, here are a few quotes from one of my favorite movies (Brownie Points for knowing what movie it is, I-Was-Raised-Under-A-Boulder Points for having no idea what movie it's from)
SPOILERS
Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God.
[Bethany sprays him with fire extinguisher]
Metatron: [coughing] Fuck!
Metatron: [emerging from smoke] Sweet Jesus! Do you have to use the whole can?
Bethany: Who the FUCK are you, and what the FUCK are you doing in my room?
Metatron: I'm soaked and she's surly, that's rich!
Bethany: What are you?
Metatron: I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.
Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.
Metatron: Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
Metatron: You people. If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?
Hmmmmm, maybe i should just post the entire script? It's awesome, go watch the movie I will wait...
...
...
...
...
Nuts to this, anyhoo, uh, tootles
SPOILERS
Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God.
[Bethany sprays him with fire extinguisher]
Metatron: [coughing] Fuck!
Metatron: [emerging from smoke] Sweet Jesus! Do you have to use the whole can?
Bethany: Who the FUCK are you, and what the FUCK are you doing in my room?
Metatron: I'm soaked and she's surly, that's rich!
Bethany: What are you?
Metatron: I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.
Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.
Metatron: Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
Metatron: You people. If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?
Hmmmmm, maybe i should just post the entire script? It's awesome, go watch the movie I will wait...
...
...
...
...
Nuts to this, anyhoo, uh, tootles
Wow! Long Time no Post (PG-13 Post)
Hi!
Just in case you were wondering, no I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, I have been wrapped up in work, warcraft, and knitting, with no time to blog. So here is an update into the glitz and glamour of the Awesome lifestyle.
On Saturday I went out for dinner and a movie with my brother and his fiancee, Haley, (who not so secretly whorships me cause i am the most awesome type of supercool, and who is a raiving hell-bitch for going to the Dominican Republic without me, [Jealous? Me? Neva!])
Dinner wasn't bad, I had escargots (delicious) and ceasar salad (meh), I was mildly peeved though when I went to pay and they had trouble breaking a $50 bill when the bill was over $17.00 and it's a super busy restaurant.
Anyhoo, then we went to see Knowing (with Nicolas Cage who actually plays an astrophysists[?] which is even less believable than a mathmetician) it's on the list of movies I want to see. I kinda didn't like it and I didn't understand (spoiler warning) what the point of his kids hearing aid was? it seemed pointless to me given the rest of the plot(end Spoiler warning) . Also, it was very loud at parts which is understandible given the (spoiler warning) Airplane and subway crashes (end Spoiler warning). And the ending annopyed me for some reason, so it only gets a 2 star Awesomeness Factor rating.
I also watched an Alan Rickman movie last night called An Awfully Big Adventure. I thought the acting was superb. Hugh Grant was a horrible creep in it and he did it well. Alan Rickman was, as always, phenominal. And I totally didn't see the twist at the end coming, yee gads (squicky). I'd like to point out that (spoiler warning) I think the movie is rated R, and there is the more than mildly creepy part when Alan Rickmans character (who is probably supposed to be in his early 40's) has sex with a 16 year old girl... it's as tastefully done as possible but the age factor is a touch icky. (end Spoiler warning)
Please don't bother pointing out the hipocrisy of being creeped out by the age difference in the movie when Alan Rickman is now 62 and I am 23 (a 39 year age difference), and I want to marry him and have his babies.
Just in case you were wondering, no I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, I have been wrapped up in work, warcraft, and knitting, with no time to blog. So here is an update into the glitz and glamour of the Awesome lifestyle.
On Saturday I went out for dinner and a movie with my brother and his fiancee, Haley, (who not so secretly whorships me cause i am the most awesome type of supercool, and who is a raiving hell-bitch for going to the Dominican Republic without me, [Jealous? Me? Neva!])
Dinner wasn't bad, I had escargots (delicious) and ceasar salad (meh), I was mildly peeved though when I went to pay and they had trouble breaking a $50 bill when the bill was over $17.00 and it's a super busy restaurant.
Anyhoo, then we went to see Knowing (with Nicolas Cage who actually plays an astrophysists[?] which is even less believable than a mathmetician) it's on the list of movies I want to see. I kinda didn't like it and I didn't understand (spoiler warning) what the point of his kids hearing aid was? it seemed pointless to me given the rest of the plot(end Spoiler warning) . Also, it was very loud at parts which is understandible given the (spoiler warning) Airplane and subway crashes (end Spoiler warning). And the ending annopyed me for some reason, so it only gets a 2 star Awesomeness Factor rating.
I also watched an Alan Rickman movie last night called An Awfully Big Adventure. I thought the acting was superb. Hugh Grant was a horrible creep in it and he did it well. Alan Rickman was, as always, phenominal. And I totally didn't see the twist at the end coming, yee gads (squicky). I'd like to point out that (spoiler warning) I think the movie is rated R, and there is the more than mildly creepy part when Alan Rickmans character (who is probably supposed to be in his early 40's) has sex with a 16 year old girl... it's as tastefully done as possible but the age factor is a touch icky. (end Spoiler warning)
Please don't bother pointing out the hipocrisy of being creeped out by the age difference in the movie when Alan Rickman is now 62 and I am 23 (a 39 year age difference), and I want to marry him and have his babies.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Applying for Jobs 101: Cover Letters
Pay attention class! There will be a pop quiz later!
So it has come to my attention that some people have no idea how to write a cover letter or even what it's actual purpose is. From my extensive (yeah right) research, and what I have learned from various schooling, I have determined that, in a nutshell, a cover letter is a test to see how well you can sell yourself in one or two short paragraphs. Here is an example for someone applying at Burger King:
Cover Letter
Superman
Fortress of Solitude
Secret Address
Date: March 10, 2009
To Whom it May Concern:
Due to the economic down turn, and the evil fiends of the world continually finding ways of destroying my spiffy costume, I find myself in need of a part time job to supplement my paltry superhero monetary rewards. I feel I would be an excellent candidate for the position of Burger Cook.
I feel I would be an asset to your franchise simply because my chiseled jaw, superb physique, and startlingly blue eyes would generate a great deal of female attention and patronage in your restaurant. Also, due to my impervious flesh I am decidedly unlikely to come away with a face like an oil slick and enough pimples to disgust a maggot, also there is little chance of work place injury (unless there is kryptonite in your secret sauce). I also feel it prudent to mention that I can flip 300 burgers a second, thus negating all need for other burger cooks, in any Burger King within a 3000 mile radius.
I am excited about working for your company and look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
-------> Signature
Superman
Well, Superman appears to be a bit of a yakkity yak, but you get the jist. I will be going into further detail on our next installment.
So it has come to my attention that some people have no idea how to write a cover letter or even what it's actual purpose is. From my extensive (yeah right) research, and what I have learned from various schooling, I have determined that, in a nutshell, a cover letter is a test to see how well you can sell yourself in one or two short paragraphs. Here is an example for someone applying at Burger King:
Cover Letter
Superman
Fortress of Solitude
Secret Address
Date: March 10, 2009
To Whom it May Concern:
Due to the economic down turn, and the evil fiends of the world continually finding ways of destroying my spiffy costume, I find myself in need of a part time job to supplement my paltry superhero monetary rewards. I feel I would be an excellent candidate for the position of Burger Cook.
I feel I would be an asset to your franchise simply because my chiseled jaw, superb physique, and startlingly blue eyes would generate a great deal of female attention and patronage in your restaurant. Also, due to my impervious flesh I am decidedly unlikely to come away with a face like an oil slick and enough pimples to disgust a maggot, also there is little chance of work place injury (unless there is kryptonite in your secret sauce). I also feel it prudent to mention that I can flip 300 burgers a second, thus negating all need for other burger cooks, in any Burger King within a 3000 mile radius.
I am excited about working for your company and look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
-------> Signature
Superman
Well, Superman appears to be a bit of a yakkity yak, but you get the jist. I will be going into further detail on our next installment.
Friday, March 6, 2009
A Po-em
The Arrow and the Song
By: Henry Wadsworth Logfellow
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
I discovered this poem from CSI (Episode Ending Happy from season 7, if'n you're interested) and it just struck me as beautiful, it's not long, it's not terribly profound, but I like it, and thought I should share it with you.
By: Henry Wadsworth Logfellow
I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
I discovered this poem from CSI (Episode Ending Happy from season 7, if'n you're interested) and it just struck me as beautiful, it's not long, it's not terribly profound, but I like it, and thought I should share it with you.
Mirie's Awesome Movie List
There seems to be a theme for this week.
So, here is a list of Movies I have watched over and over and over and over ad nauseum. Be warned that there is a subliminal message in this post that will instruct you to go out and rent/purchase/steal these movies and watch them till you start questioning the reasoning behind interrupting the movie to make a trip to the bathroom/pass out/ starve to death.
(These are not in order of Awesomeness I am just writing them down as a remember I them)
Harry Potter 1-5 (though I have no doubt that I will watch the 6th one till I have it memorized as well... I'm not joking... MEMORIZED)
Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3 (oh my god the sheer Awesomeness, and KEITH RICHARDS!!)
Forrest Gump (This may actually be my favorite movie, it's nice to have some proof that I might not be as shallow as my Hottie posts would indicate, isn't it? *pfft* of course I'm that shallow)
Fast and the Furious
Lord of the Rings 1-3 (The EXTENDED versions, all in one sitting, I kid you not)
Cinderella (stop Laughing)
Iron Man (sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet movie)
Pineapple Express (sheer hilarity)
Batman Begins and the Dark Knight (oh Heath *sobs*)
Superman Returns (Pretty Awesome)
Pitch Black (Weeeeee Vin Diesel)
Braveheart (in retrospect, as much as I love that movie, I don't think it was suitable for a 10 year old, which is how old I was when it came out)
300 (the GREATEST chick-flick/gayboy movie ever!! I'd like to have Gerard Butlers babies, and I totally didn't recognize David Wenham, without the long Faramir Hair and my-dad-just-kicked-my-puppy expression)
Love Actually (cute and sappy with a heavy dose of Alan Rickman, anything with any kind of dose of Alan Rickman is a good movie)
Dogma (Alan Rickman at his witty best, Selma Hayek is hot, and God is Canadian and a chick what more do you want?)
X-men Trilogy ('nuff said)
Gone in 60 seconds (car chases, explosions, death, a main character named Memphis, my Grandma calling it a 'B' movie, priceless, not to mention Vinnie Jones)
Brokeback Mountain (I am an unapologetic fag-hag, if you don't like it go suck a lemon, plus the acting in this movie was really well done, especially for two straight guys pretending to be gay)
The Green Mile (I don't actually own this movie but if I did I would watch it as often as I watch Forrest Gump)
I'll proabaly add more must see movies later, for now, go forth my internet minions, SERVE YOUR EMPRESS and enjoy.
So, here is a list of Movies I have watched over and over and over and over ad nauseum. Be warned that there is a subliminal message in this post that will instruct you to go out and rent/purchase/steal these movies and watch them till you start questioning the reasoning behind interrupting the movie to make a trip to the bathroom/pass out/ starve to death.
(These are not in order of Awesomeness I am just writing them down as a remember I them)
Harry Potter 1-5 (though I have no doubt that I will watch the 6th one till I have it memorized as well... I'm not joking... MEMORIZED)
Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3 (oh my god the sheer Awesomeness, and KEITH RICHARDS!!)
Forrest Gump (This may actually be my favorite movie, it's nice to have some proof that I might not be as shallow as my Hottie posts would indicate, isn't it? *pfft* of course I'm that shallow)
Fast and the Furious
Lord of the Rings 1-3 (The EXTENDED versions, all in one sitting, I kid you not)
Cinderella (stop Laughing)
Iron Man (sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet movie)
Pineapple Express (sheer hilarity)
Batman Begins and the Dark Knight (oh Heath *sobs*)
Superman Returns (Pretty Awesome)
Pitch Black (Weeeeee Vin Diesel)
Braveheart (in retrospect, as much as I love that movie, I don't think it was suitable for a 10 year old, which is how old I was when it came out)
300 (the GREATEST chick-flick/gayboy movie ever!! I'd like to have Gerard Butlers babies, and I totally didn't recognize David Wenham, without the long Faramir Hair and my-dad-just-kicked-my-puppy expression)
Love Actually (cute and sappy with a heavy dose of Alan Rickman, anything with any kind of dose of Alan Rickman is a good movie)
Dogma (Alan Rickman at his witty best, Selma Hayek is hot, and God is Canadian and a chick what more do you want?)
X-men Trilogy ('nuff said)
Gone in 60 seconds (car chases, explosions, death, a main character named Memphis, my Grandma calling it a 'B' movie, priceless, not to mention Vinnie Jones)
Brokeback Mountain (I am an unapologetic fag-hag, if you don't like it go suck a lemon, plus the acting in this movie was really well done, especially for two straight guys pretending to be gay)
The Green Mile (I don't actually own this movie but if I did I would watch it as often as I watch Forrest Gump)
I'll proabaly add more must see movies later, for now, go forth my internet minions, SERVE YOUR EMPRESS and enjoy.
Hottie!!
'scuse me while I find a napkin to mop up the drool.
Anyhoo, on with the pertinent Hottie info: (as if you care about anything but the pictures)
Hottie Moniker: Vin Diesel (even his name is hot, and it suits him, if some dork like Shia LeBeouf tried pulling that off you'd laugh in his face [if you don't already cause seriously, Shia? *snorts*])
Best Known for: His delicious muscles and growly-just-had-the-best-orgasm-of-my-life voice
Place of Birth: New York, New York
DoB: July 18, 1967
Worth Checking out: Fast and the Furious 1 and 4 (which is on my list of must watch movies for this year) Pitch Black (Chronicles of Riddick not so much), Man Apart
And Cause I don't want to be accused of being Gender Biased on the Hottie Posts here's something for the guys, and lesbians, and chicks with inner lesbians
Hottie Moniker: Megan Fox (and I don't think that's an alias)
Best Known for: Bein' a Hot Bitch
Place of Birth: Rockwood, Tennessee
DoB: May 16, 1986
Worth Checking out: Transformers, and her tattoos.
Movie List!
*REVISED*
Push - (in theatres) Chris Evans is a delicious Hottie, and the trailer kicks so much ass.
Milk - (in theatres) The story of Harvey Milk A San Fransisco Supervisor assissnated in 1978. Staring Sean Penn, and the hottie James Franco
Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)
Transformers 2 - (June 24) SO! I have now joined the ranks of the MILLIONS who have seen Transformers, and I must say that the Inner Geek will be satisfied for some time to come. Also, the two main chicks in Transformers are WAY HOT! The Aussie kinda looks like Rebecca Romijin. (Unfortunately my sentiment for Shia LeBeouf from the previous movie list stands. He’s a dork)
Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.
Movies that might be worth a look:
Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)
Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)
Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)
The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?
And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:
Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.
Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)
GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.
Push - (in theatres) Chris Evans is a delicious Hottie, and the trailer kicks so much ass.
Milk - (in theatres) The story of Harvey Milk A San Fransisco Supervisor assissnated in 1978. Staring Sean Penn, and the hottie James Franco
Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)
Transformers 2 - (June 24) SO! I have now joined the ranks of the MILLIONS who have seen Transformers, and I must say that the Inner Geek will be satisfied for some time to come. Also, the two main chicks in Transformers are WAY HOT! The Aussie kinda looks like Rebecca Romijin. (Unfortunately my sentiment for Shia LeBeouf from the previous movie list stands. He’s a dork)
Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.
Movies that might be worth a look:
Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)
Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)
Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)
The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?
And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:
Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.
Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)
GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.
Careful Mirie!! You're Inner Geek is Showing
So... I watched Transformers last night, and despite my disdain for Shia Lebeouf, I found it INDESCRIBABLY AWESOME!!!!! The Inner Geek squealed like 5 year old with a skinned knee and did the Happy Dance of Glee when Optimus Prime transformed, GOD! The awesomesness. I was also unreasonably horrified when Megatron tore Jazz in half, seriously, I was only slightly less horrified than I would've been if he had torn a human in half, messed up eh?
Also, the guy that played Lead Army Guy was supa hot!!
I still hate Shia Lebeouf, I don't know why something about him just makes me wanna punch the pipsqueak in the face. Although he did do a FINE job of being a bumbling moron for the better part of the movie.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Awesome Must See movies of 2009
Push - (in theatres) Chris Evans is a deliscious Hottie, and the trailer kicks so much ass.
Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)
Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.
Movies that might be worth a look:
Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)
Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)
Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)
The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?
And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:
Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.
Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)
Transformers 2 - (June 24) Having not seen the first Transformers (yes you read that correctly) and my complete disregard/dislike for Shea LeBeouf (spelling?) unless there are a supreme number of HUMONGUS explosions and other entertaining things of that nature (such as Shea getting crushed to death at the end by a Gremlin [humiliating? I think so!])I don't see myself liking this movie.
GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.
Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)
Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.
Movies that might be worth a look:
Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)
Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)
Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)
The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?
And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:
Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.
Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)
Transformers 2 - (June 24) Having not seen the first Transformers (yes you read that correctly) and my complete disregard/dislike for Shea LeBeouf (spelling?) unless there are a supreme number of HUMONGUS explosions and other entertaining things of that nature (such as Shea getting crushed to death at the end by a Gremlin [humiliating? I think so!])I don't see myself liking this movie.
GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Seven things
Seven things to do before I die...
Learn to Speak another language
Hike to Macchu Picchu
Visit Santorini
Knit a Lace Shawl for Momsies
Take Kayleen to Disneyland
Write a novel
Take dance lessons
Seven things I cannot do...
Be male (and seriously who would want to)
Run a marathon (although I wouldn’t mind being able to do a half marathon)
Sing well
Speak Klingon
Understand Sign Language (although I’d like to remedy that)
Cook Filet Mignon
See worth a damn without my glasses
Seven things that attract me to my man...
Sense of Humour
Open mindedness
Strong work ethic
Ballsy enough to handle me at my bitchiest (BELIEVE ME it takes a real man)
Intelligence
Being excellent potential father material
None annoyingly sports addicted.
Seven books (series) that I love...
Lord of the Rings
Interview with the Vampire
The Anita Blake Series
The first three of the Twilight Series
All seven Harry Potter books
The Hobbit
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Sword of Truth Series (what can I say I like series)
Seven things I say...
Doh!
Go to Hell
I love you, baby doll (frequently said to the Niece of Awesomeness)
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! ( ala Peppermint Pattie)
Most swear words (with alarming frequency)
I heart your soul
You smell
Seven movies I've loved...
Pirates of the Caribbean
Lord of the Rings
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Interview with the Vampire
X-men Trilogy
X-men Origins: Wolverine (that movie isn’t even out yet but I am so sure of its impending Awesomeness, I already LOVE it)
Seven things that are most important to me…
Family
Friends
Truth
Trust
REAL Justice
Love
Happiness
Learn to Speak another language
Hike to Macchu Picchu
Visit Santorini
Knit a Lace Shawl for Momsies
Take Kayleen to Disneyland
Write a novel
Take dance lessons
Seven things I cannot do...
Be male (and seriously who would want to)
Run a marathon (although I wouldn’t mind being able to do a half marathon)
Sing well
Speak Klingon
Understand Sign Language (although I’d like to remedy that)
Cook Filet Mignon
See worth a damn without my glasses
Seven things that attract me to my man...
Sense of Humour
Open mindedness
Strong work ethic
Ballsy enough to handle me at my bitchiest (BELIEVE ME it takes a real man)
Intelligence
Being excellent potential father material
None annoyingly sports addicted.
Seven books (series) that I love...
Lord of the Rings
Interview with the Vampire
The Anita Blake Series
The first three of the Twilight Series
All seven Harry Potter books
The Hobbit
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Sword of Truth Series (what can I say I like series)
Seven things I say...
Doh!
Go to Hell
I love you, baby doll (frequently said to the Niece of Awesomeness)
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! ( ala Peppermint Pattie)
Most swear words (with alarming frequency)
I heart your soul
You smell
Seven movies I've loved...
Pirates of the Caribbean
Lord of the Rings
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Interview with the Vampire
X-men Trilogy
X-men Origins: Wolverine (that movie isn’t even out yet but I am so sure of its impending Awesomeness, I already LOVE it)
Seven things that are most important to me…
Family
Friends
Truth
Trust
REAL Justice
Love
Happiness
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