The Dichotomy of Good and Evil: or why fat chicks shouldn't wear tights!

Does anyone else feel that the purchasing and wearing of tights, leggings, and skinny jeans should be better regulated? That there should be guidelines or even laws for purchasing these products?

I submit for your approval Awesome Miries Guide for Buying and Wearing Skinny Chick Duds:

1: All people attempting to purchase any of the above mentioned leg coverings must submit to a body fat percentage test… Anyone over a certain percentage (like 10) should NOT be allowed to purchase these products.

2: If you are over the age of 30 (unless you have a body fat percentage of like 5 and have never put your body through the horror of having children) do not buy these products.

3: Please ensure that if you meet the above criteria that the products fit properly, camel toe and the perpetual wedgie are even less attractive in tights and leggings, then they are in jeans.

4: If you’re a bit of a chunky monkey or older than you should be and you insist on buy these products, be sure to pair them with a top that will completely cover your body flaws, such as a dimply bum, cottage cheese thighs, or cankles. An example of a proper Chunky Chick leggings outfit, is a lovely mid thigh, or just above the knee length sweater dress, or skirt, and a pair of knee high heeled boots that will hide those cankles, observe:

















Picture taken from here: http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/Women-Womens-Cowl-neck-sweater-dress-Dresses-Dresses--Gap-248487

Now, obviously, this model is not chunky, nor does she have obvious cankles, but lets face it do you know how hard it is to find a decent picture of a plus sized model in a sweater dress? Come on.

5: Also anyone over the age of 15 MUST stay away from these: (unless it’s for Halloween)





Or similar obnoxiously coloured products.
Picture comes from here: http://girldir.com/street-style/what-do-girls-wear-these-days