Mirie's Awesome Blog

The Niece!!!

2009-08-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!! today is my beautiful niece's 2nd birthday, so I've compiled a couple pictures and a video of her royal cute-ness!!

Long time no Typie!

2009-07-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

Hello!! and thank you for tunning in after my long absence, I imagine that the withdrawl symptoms were awful. On the plus side, having been gone from the realm of the Awesome Blog for such a long time I have gathered a great deal of content for future posting, so tune in for more updates. I will do a better post when I come back from taking my grandma to the store (not my happiest past time, but I heart my grandma so I do it).

Also, I won't be on my little sisters computer which is a blessing cause her keyboard has most the letters worn off, she's a monkey butt, and I can say that with little risk of repercussion cause she doesn't read the Awesome Blog (I KNOW!! Can you stand it?)

Anyhoo, Guten Tag (Like my horribly bastardized German?)

Thursday Hottie!!

2009-05-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

"Okay, people are dead..."

Todays Hottie is Ryan Reynolds, please don't feel ashamed about the drool, we are non-judgers at the Awesome Blog.

Hottie Moniker: Ryan Reynolds
Best Known for: Being Awesome AND Canadian (which seems to go hand in hand)
Place of Birth: Vancouver, British Columbia
DoB: October 23, 1976
Worth Checking out: X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Definately, Maybe, Blade Trinity
Awesome Rating: ****

There qon't be a chick hottie today cause I am to lazy to pick one. Sorry.

A Portrait...

2009-05-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

Soooooooooooo, I was I gazing at my most magnificent self in the mirror earlier and was absolutely horrified to see, that at the tender age of 23, I am developing wrinkles... Oh the horror, I have taken the time to photograph the vile signs of aging and share it with you, please, if you choose to comment... be gentle:

~Keep Scrolling~

I prefer to think of them as laugh lines.

Quote Day!!

2009-05-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

In honour of my stellar review of the Mortal Instruments Series I have decided to post a few quotes, just in case that the fact that the Empress of Awesome has read them didn't inspire you to.

From City of Bones:

"Maybe we should all have code names." - Isabelle
"Good idea," said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein."

"Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Though I've been told the resemblance is startling."

I'll probably add a few more as I read the books again, but those two are real gems.

Tuesday HOTTIE!!!

2009-05-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hottie Moniker: Gerard Butler
Best Known for: Being King Leonidas in 300 (droooooooooooools)
Place of Birth: Glasgow, Scotland
DoB: November 13, 1969
Worth Checking out: Dracula 2000, Dear Frankie, and Attila (cause he looks like this:)

Fem Hottie:

Hottie Moniker: Lena Headey
Best Known for: Porking Gerard Butler in 300
Place of Birth: Bermuda
DoB: October 3, 1973
Worth Checking out: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, The Brothers Grimm.

May Book Review

2009-05-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

I am no longer putting expected dates on these things, cause it used to be the monthly book review and I haven't done one since February, however in my defense, I have been very busy lately, what with being laid off, and playing with my niece, and I was SO busy on the weekend I read 3 450-600 page books (hence the book review which is more like a series review).

The above picture is the first book of the Mortal Instruments Series.

Titles: The Tale of A Hot Guy with no Shirt on (Actually it's City of Bones), City of Ashes, and City of Glass.

Author: Cassandra Clare

Awesomeness Rating: ****

Favorite Character: Magnus Bane

Why?: Cause his name's Magnus Bane... duh.

Review: I quite enjoyed these books, at first I wasn't expecting much 'cause what drew me in was the hot guy with no shirt on covered in tattoos (shallow much?), and it's endorsed by Stephenie Meyer (who I think is a crack pot), but after reading the back cover of book one, and finding the premise interesting I decided to give it a shot, I'm glad I did.

While there are a few parallels between a couple of other books I've read (I am not saying she copied at all, but lets face it super natural books have been done to death, and it's hard to find something 100%, way out of left field unique) the series is a good midway point between the sick/twisted rose coloured glasses stuff of Stephenie Crack-Pot, and and the hardcore Vamp Stuff of Anne Rice, I also think it MAY be better than Anita Blake (which I quite enjoy but lets face it, the series has kinda degenerated into how many sex scenes each with a different partner you can cram into a single book *blushes*). There are quite a few interesting plot twists, and I like that, despite the fact that these books is classified as young adult it doesn't treat the reader like a 10 year old (which is good cause I wouldn't let a ten year old read thses books.) I also like the character development, and I don't think anyone but the villains are truly unlikeable which is how it should be.

Anyhoo, bottom line is I think these books are worth a read, so.... go and buy them, duh.

Note: (Semi Spoiler Warning) I'd like to point out that on the back of the first book it talks about "Dark hunters" but in the series they are actually called "Shadowhunters" I think this error is the fault of the publishing companies cause I think they are the ones the write the description not the author.

Note 2: Before you spam my comment section with questions about my rapid reading skills let me tell you, I read the first book on Saturday, the second book between 11am and 4pm on Sunday and the third book between 9:30pm and 4:00am on Sunday night. I'm not joking I HAD to see how it ended, don't look at me like that.

Hottie of the Day Revisited!

2009-05-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

In honour of today's momentous occasion (WOLVERINE!!!!!) we are revisiting Hugh *drools* Jackman as the hottie of the day, this time with mucho pictures... I invite you to ENJOY!!

The Thrilling Days of Yester Year! (or In Which I ramble on about nothing)

2009-04-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

HI!!

Long time no Bloggy, sorry about that, I got laid off from my job so I haven't been in a setting where I have been bored enough to want to blog. But I am back at work for a few days so here I am!

As you have may have infered from the title of todays post, I have used this last week and a half of forced idleness to reminisce about my wild and misspent youth, most importantly my long love affair with anime and manga! More specifically... Dragon Ball (seriously in the last two days I have watched about 20 episodes and like 4 movies, it's kinda sad [please don't feel the need to point out what a humumgous dork I am, rest assured I am well aware of it])

My brother and I used to watch Dragon Ball religiously when we were younger (I'd like to say when we were kids but I am pretty sure it was well into our late teens, please see the previous note about not pointing out the dorkiness of this), and I can remember being thoroughly frustrated when they would restart the WHOLE series when they ran out of translated episodes, ARGGGG! and then being equally excited when we finally got to the new episodes and Goku would do something insanely cool, like become a super saiyan!! WOOT! Or in the Bojack movie where Mirai Trunks is getting his ass soundly trounced and Vegeta shows up and saves him!! YAY!!

Good times, sigh, I am not entirely sure what the point of this post is (or if there is one) so let me leave you with a pair of hotties!! (chortles)

Hottie Moniker: Vegeta no Ouji
Best Known for: Bein' the cranky prince of ALL Saiyans (something to be proud of to be sure)
Place of Birth: Vegeta-sei
DoB: No idea
Worth Checking out: Everything!!!
Short Commings (Snort): He's only 5'3" tall (get it SHORT commings??? bwahahahahaha), although Wolverine is only 5'3" and you know what they say good things come in small packages, and I say you only need on stick of dynomite to blow the face off a mountain so lets keep this in perspective.

Chick Hottie! (Cause nothing says Hottie like a 14 year old in a mini sailor suit, finks ALL OF YOU FINKS!!)

Like you don't know who this is. She is probably soley responsible for the general retardation and foolishness of the chicks from my generation, it's despicable.

Casting Call!!

2009-04-14T13:13:00.000-07:00

So my super geek brother and I ( I also happen to be a super geek) have been coming up with a cast for an Ultimate Avengers movie, the list is as follows:

Captain America: Mark Valley (we didn't come up with that but it's a good choice)

Iron Man: Robert Downey Jr. (did way to fucking good a job to replace)

Nick Fury: Samuel L. Jackson (I kinda don't agree, I'd like to see him in a broder sampling of that role)

Giant Man: Peter Krause

Wasp: I vote for Bai Ling (Brenty is undecided)

Black Widow: Izabella Miko ( I can agree with that)

Scarlet Witch: Megan Fox (drools)

Quicksilver: Tom Felton (I think he would have to put on a little muscle but I think he would do a good job)

Hawkeye: Wentworth Miller

Thor: Dominic Purcell

Captain Britain: Gerard Butler (drools)

Loki: Toss up between Tom Welling, and Cillian Murphy (Tom has the size, Cillian has the creep)

Jarvis: Alan Rickman (droooooooooooooooooooools)

Bruce Banner: Ed Norton

TV Show Review!

2009-04-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Monthly TV Show Review:

Title: Six Feet Under

Starring: Peter Krause, Micheal C. Hall, Frances Conroy, Lauren Ambrose, Mathew St. Patrick

Whole Slew of Guest Stars: Michelle Trachtenburg, Peter Facinelli, Ben Foster, Kathy Bates, Rainn Wilson (who creeps the fuck out of me), Mena Suvari, and Jeremy Sisto (just to name a few)

Awesomeness Rating: 4

Review: I really like this show, I think the characters are very real and the actors play them superbly, I find the shows premise intriguing, and the dark, often shocking, humour amuses me to no end. Also, because it's an HBO program you can expect extensive use of the word "Fuck" and plenty of gratuitous sex. Such is my intense love of this show I spent my ENTIRE long weekend watching the first 3 seasons. (I bought season 4 and 5 yesterday, eep). Also, my inner Fag-hag does a happy dance everytime Michael Hall and Mathew St. Patrick get kissy face.

Hottie DAY!!! YAY!!

2009-04-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

Today's Hottie is This Guy:

Probably best known for his role as this guy:

Hottie Moniker: Peter Facinelli
Best Known for: Yummy Undead Doctor Carlisle Cullen (From Twilight...duh)
Place of Birth: Queens, New York
DoB: November 26, 1973
Worth Checking out: His role as Jimmy, in Six Feet Under, he is so CUTE!! Also, he is apparently in the Scorpion King, which I haven't seen, but his character quote on IMDb is hilarious.

Side Note: I'm not entirely certain why I felt the need to have 3 pictures of him, he's not handsome in the way Hugh Jackman is, but there is something undeniably striking about his face, and his eyes are beautiful.

Girlie Hottie:

Hottie Moniker: Jessica Alba
Best Known for: I don't actually know what could be considered her best work.
Place of Birth: Pamona, California
DoB: April 28, 1981
Worth Checking out: She was pretty good in Sin City, kinda 'plastic' in Fantastic Four.

Artemis? WTF?

2009-04-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

According to the ever reliable and accurate Facebook quiz I just took (Which Greek Goddess are You?) I am Artemis... this is what the quiz has to say about Artemis:

"You are Artemis! The Greek Goddess of the moon and the hunt. Many people don't understand your personality, but you don't care. You're a rebel and you usually fall on the outskirts of society. You're unique and you embrace every aspect of that. Some say you're a wild child, and like Artemis, you know you are!"

My interpretation of the Goddess Artemis is slightly less flattering:

"The grumpy bull dyke that likes to shoot shit with a bow and arrow"

Nice. (the only accurate part of my description is the 'grumpy')

For those of you who know me (and lucky you) you understand why it fairly ludicrous to call me a 'wild child' cause lets face it dudes, my idea of a fun saturday night includes, but is not limited, movies, knitting, World of Warcraft, reading, etc... Whoowee, LOCK YOUR DOORS PEOPLE THE EMPRESS IS OUT FOR A WILD NIGHT!

PFFT!

*runs off to get her knitting freak-on*

Wetting my Pants with Glee!! (may Contain Spoilers)

2009-04-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have been a fan of Harry Potter for a hella long time, I have read all the books and watched all the movies to the point of near memorization, so how how HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS!?:

http://www.gryffindorgazette.com/2008/06/11/the-harry-potter-prequel-read-it-here/

I trust that you, loyal internet minions that you are, immediately followed the above link and are as in awe as I am. Holy Crabcakes!! I found that rediculously funny, those poor poor muggle police officers, can you imagine?

I think it would be fantabulistic if Rowling wrote a full prequel to Harry Potter, it would give her a chance to answer many questions about certain things, and give her the opportunity to paint James Potter in a much more flattering light (cause as it stands I think he's a irrepressable wretched bully who should've been put over someones knee as a child). Here is a list of things I want more information on (and my thoughts on these subjects), should J.K. Rowling ever stumble upon my blog (if she isn't a rabid fan already):

1. Why did James and Sirius hate Severus so much?
(As it stands, they just seem to pick on him cause they are just mean)

2. What were the circumstances involving Remus getting bit by a werewolf? Was the werewolf caught? How did his parents cope with having a werewolf for a son?
([John and Martha Kent would have NOTHING on these people, a least they didn't have to worry about their son turing into a monster and devouring them] Poor poor Remus, I can't understand why such a nice boy would be a party to James and Sirius' bullying shenanigans, especially since he himself, would be an outcast if everyone found out what he was)

3. What is the EXACT reason that Peter Pettigrew joined Moldy-Warts?
(I mean besides the obvious "he's an ubsiquious cowardly Toad-Rat")

4. My sister just texted me to tell me "You am el homo pants."

5. More background on Dumbles!! **** Note at bottom of Post****
(We got some info about him from when he was a young man but what the hell was going on between that time and when the Order faught Moldywarts for the first time? that was like 30-40 years! He couldn't of just been teaching/headmastering and sucking on lemon drops all day! Did he spend all his time picking out hideous outfits or what?)

6. How did Lily and the Knobbly-kneed Bully eventually hook-up, get married and reproduce?
(Please do not bother explaining the specifics of reproduction to me, I did attend both Sex Ed and grade 11 Biology...)

7. More information about the school founders!!
(In fact I think a whole book should be written about the founders and the construction of everyones favorite school of witchcraft and wizardry)

8. Are we to infer based on the date (1945) that Grindelwald had anything to do with WW II? Or is it just coincidence?
(Am I the only one who draws on the similarities between Grindy and Hitler? Hello? Evil? Supremecist? Crazy? Brilliant? [but still evil])

9. Are we to honestly believe that, given mankinds ability/instinct to repress/rationalize strange happenings, if someone received a letter stating that their child was a witch or wizard (pfft) and that they were 'invited' to a special school in the middle of nowhere that the parents (as muggles) wouldn't be able to find, that people wouldn't pass that off as the insane ramblings of a delusional crackpot and toss the damn letter? Seriously?

Anywho, those are a few issues I'd like to see addressed.

****NOTE****

I personally love the fact Rowling outted Dumbledore! (and it's not just cause I am unrepentant fag hag) I just think it's damned funny that despite all the crap she no doubt puts up with from people that harrass her for promoting witchcraft, she goes and tells them that one of the most beloved characters of modern literature is GAY!! Whooweee! And what does it say that her books are still the most popular like ever!!

Writing Prompt!

2009-04-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Writing Prompt Nummer Drie

"You're taking a business trip and, as luck would have it, you're upgraded to first class—something you've never done before. As you sit down in your new, more comfortable chair, you notice that the person sitting next to you is a famous musician. Write this scene."

After an excruciatingly boring 3 hour layover, suffering the indignity of being the ONLY vertically endowed person on the flight, and being constantly hounded for assistance in stuffing over filled carryon bags into miniscule cubbies, I collapsed, exhausted, into my too-small seat. Completely fed up with the horrors of travel, I put my ear phones on, crank my mp3 player to the maximum volume, and settle in to knit an intricate lace patterned scarf; I did my best to project an aura of "Disturb me and I'll stab you with my dull-ass knitting needle" to the countless newlyweds and happy families heading for vacation around me. It Didn't Work. Just as I was getting to a particularly difficult part of the pattern I felt a
*tap tap tap* on my shoulder.

Marking my place in the pattern, I make a big production of shutting off my mp3 and turning to the perky flight attendant.

“Can I help you?” I ask.

“Actually I think I can help you!” He says perkily, “How would you like to be upgraded to first class?”

I scowl dourly at him, “How much would that cost me.”

Sensing me inherent crankiness, his fake smile fades a bit, and he says “It’s free.”
I look around at the various knitting accoutrements I have spread out on my tray, “I don’t think so.”

Perky’s smile fads completely, trying to stay chipper he says, “Well, we are slightly over booked, and you appear to be the only one travelling by yourself, so…”

“Do it or you’ll be a horrible person for breaking up one of these nauseatingly happy families, is that what you mean? Fine,” I feel a tiny bit bad about interrupting him like that, but I was being inconvenienced!

So, I pack up my things, try (and fail) to pull out my carry on without having the six other bags crammed into the cubby fall on my head, and follow the now cranky flight attendant to my first class seat. I put my carry on in to the nearly empty cubby and again settle in to projecting my “DO NOT DISTURB” aura. I don’t even look up when someone sits down next to me, in my peripheral vision I can see large hands with big nobly knuckles and a skull ring, he’s dressed somewhere between a pirate and a hippy, but it works for him. God he seems familiar, it’s starting to bug me, but I am too stubborn to focus on him further, or pester him for information about himself. I REFUSE to become one of those annoying people that travel so much they have to bother every person they sit next to for their life story just to have some semblance of human connection.

So I continue to knit, and he pulls out a note pad and starts jotting things down, this goes on for a few hours with a break for lunch in between; we still say nothing to each other but he looks at me oddly and smiles a bit every time one of the many Rolling Stones songs I have comes up on my mp3 player, I worry vaguely that the noise is bothering him, but I figure he’ll say something if it is.

Finally, after what seems like forever, I feel a tap on my shoulder, I look at my seat mate and shut off my MP3 player half way through “Make no Mistake”, he’s grinning at me, and sayss in a delightfully growly voice with an English accent “We’re landing in a few minutes,” and I KNOW I know who he is but I just can’t place him. In my frustration I sit back, do up my seat belt, and settle in for the landing. I hate this part, I can picture, with alarming clarity, the plane missing the run way and crashing into the ocean with all of us perishing, it’s not pretty. So I squeeze my eyes shut and mutter prayers to every deity I can think of.

We land safely but I keep my eyes closed, trying to force my breathing and heart rate back to something approaching normal, when something drops into me lap, I look up surprised to see my seat mate walking away from me, he looks back as he steps off the plane and waves at me. I smile slightly at the odd man, and open the envelope he dropped in my lap. Three things fall out, a folded piece of note paper and what appears to be tickets, I open the note first, my heart stops completely as I read:

“We sound even better Live, come have a look.
-Keith Richards
P.S. That’s a lovely bit your knitting, reminds me of something my mum would make.”

Sure enough, the two tickets in my hand are for the club show in two days, and I wonder if I can finish the black scarf I’ve been working on in that amount of time, I had just met the perfect recipient.

**** DISCLAIMER ****

In case it wasn't obvious, this is a complete flight of fancy (get it? flight? hahah-heh), as if I could knit a lace scarf.

World of Warcraft Addiction!!

2009-04-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Barbie has discovered the riveting World of Warcraft!!

Before:

After:

Writing!!

2009-03-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

Writing Prompt!!

"After years of leading a normal life, you discover you have a special ability. Afraid to share this information with anyone, you confide only in your closest friend. To your surprise, your friend shares some information with you—he also has a super power."

On with the Story!!:

So after my vindictive and bitterly resentful conversation with Tom/Dick/Harry and the Bimbo, I decided to go home, grab something to eat, and go for a run.

When I strolled into my apartment it was around 7pm and already starting to get dark, as soon as I take my shoes off I step in something slimy and disgustingly chilled, holding back my urge to vomit, I reach for the light switch, there on the floor is a pile of half chewed friskies canned catfood; Hubert, my chubby, lamentably balding cat-turned-syphills-infected-insurance-selling-boyfriend, looks up at me from where he lay in the middle of the living room licking where his balls used to be (HAHA! Pre-Crime Punishment) and gazes disdainfully at me. I get the alarming sensation that he is trying to will me to die, just for trying to feed him Friskies instead of the gourment $6 a can stuff he used to. I glare at him till he goes back to what he was doing, and look around to assess the damage, Hubert as miraculously (and laws of mass defyingly) managed to splatter, smear, or otherwise deface every surface in my kitchen with a single can of Friskies cat food.

It takes me over an hour to clean it up, all the while pondering how I go about slaughtering the haughty feline without being caught by some dogooding PETA supporting busybody neighbor. Deciding to skip eating, I dart into my bedroom and change into my running clothes, giving Hubert one final glare, I set out on my 15 mile daily run (hahaha yeah right). It's quite dark by now and I am alone on the streets heading out towards the contryside, the miles fly by until I reach the large oak tree that marks my halfway point, I am just about to turn around when a black Porsche comes screaming around the bend up the road, skids across the slick pavement, and the last thought I have before it plows into me is "Hahahaha I burned Tom/Dick/Harry so good."

...

I feel wetness on my face, and my body is screaming in abject agony, it feels like I have torn every muscle in my body, I open my eyes, and look around, I am lying in the mud near the side of the road, the oak tree is torn up from the ground and tossed haphazardly about 30 feet to my right, there are deep furrows dug into the ground all around me, and my clothes are torn to shreds. I KNOW that car hit me!! How am I still alive? What the hell is going on? I know exactly who to call, my brother is a superdork he will know what happened!!

After I drag myself home and shower I phone my brother.

"Brensteve!! Something very strange is going on!! I got hit by a car last night and I'M FINE!! It was so horrible I woke up this morning and the area around me was completely destroyed!! There was even a huge oak laying 50 feet from wher it should've been!! What do you think is going on?" I cry hysterically.

Brensteve is quiet for a moment then says, "Hmmm, the gamma radiation I exposed you to when you crashed here last month may have done something to your physiology, how are you feeling right now?"

I stare incensed at the phone for a moment before the most unantural rage overcomes me and I start to see GREEN! "You INFECTED me with GAMMA RADIATION!!?!?!? What the hell is wrong with you?"

I cannot control my rage, losing control, any intelligence I have goes the way of the dodo, and I scream, "HULK SMASH!!!" And proceed to destroy my apartment, grabbing a mirror I look at my now green face-

"Um Empress of Awesome? Um, not to correct you or dampen your creative story writing, but I believe this is what's called copyright infringement... not to correct you or anything"

"..."

"It's just that the HULK belongs to Marvel comics and, umm... You have that look in your eye Empress"

"FORTY LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE!!! For your big fat information as the Empress of Awesome I own ALL the rights to ALL the decent superheroes!! HULK SMASH"

the End

Nikki!! - Rediculously Sentimental!!

2009-03-27T14:38:00.001-07:00

Hi!! This is my cousin Nikki!! On facebook I threatened to do a post all about her if she didn't repond to all the nagging I was doing about reading my blog, she didn't so here is the Nikki Post!!

Here are just some of the reasons that everyone should love Nikki like I do:

1. She is the type of person who would bring you the lovelist flowers for something as simple as giving her a ride somwhere. (Those flowers absolutely made my week)
2. She uses sarcasm with the same frequency and success that I do.
3. I have never had to explain a joke to her.
4. She would never deliberatley do anything to hurt some one she cared about and would be horrified if she did by accident.
5. She adores the Niece of Awesomeness the way she should.
6. She'd do almost anything to help a friend.
7. She is generous.
8. She is tied with the Little Sister Of Awesomeness for being the most non-judgemental person I know.
9. She is the BEST person to have a laugh with, cause she does it freely and keeps you laughing with her.
10.She is VERY intelligent, and is ALWAYS a good person for witty conversation.
11.She gives hella good hugs.
12.She has the most wicked sense of humour
13.I can't remember a single time, even as little kids, where we had a serious argument, but I have no doubt that if we did we'd be buddies again within an hour.
14.She has nifty tattoos!

Um, I could write down more things, but I need to find a tissue, I got something in my eye....

So...

2009-03-27T13:32:00.001-07:00

I just dsicovered this web page: http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts/

I am contemplating doing a post every once in a while (hell maybe several times a day) based on one of these writing prompts, as the webpage states my response should be 500 words or less (which may be difficult 'cause I likes mme words, and hearing my self talk-er type), So! here goes!!

Writing Prompt Numero Uno:

"You bump into an ex-lover on Valentine's Day—the one whom you often call "The One That Got Away." What happens?"

"Oh Hello Tom/Dick/Harry!! How is that mutliple personality thing going for you?" I say cheerfully, smiling at the alarmed looking bimbo on his arm.

"Hey, shush, you know I got help for that!" Tom or maybe Dick mumbles to me, out of the corner of his mouth, turning to the bimbo he says "She's got some sense of humour eh?"

Bimbo laughs nervously, and says "Riiiiiiight, so did you two used to date?"

I roll my eyes, "Of course not, I exercise this kind flagrant animosity to perfect strangers unfortunate enough to cross my path."

An awkward silence follows, until Dick or Harry says "So seeing anyone?"

To which I reply " Oh yes!! His name is Hubert, he sells insurance, he is so nice, and despite the fact he's a little shorter than me, I like the fact I can see myself in his shiny little bald spot. He also treats me like a princess!"

Bimbo starts to smile condesendingly, and as she is about to open her overly collegen pumped lips to brainlessly insult me, I look at Tom/Dick/Harry, and say " We met at that syphyllis support group you referred me to, oh by the way, Gene says you shouldn't've stopped coming given that you got so far behind on your treatments. Tootles"

I walk away leaving "The One That Got Away... cause I can't shoot drunk" with a dumb struck look on his face,a nd the Bimbo turning the most unattractive shade of chartruse, I hope one of her implants ruptured.

Snapey

2009-03-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Aw, doesn't he look so sad in this picture? Poor, poor, Severus, don't you just want to hug him? (Brent, let me give you a pre-emptive shut up/go suck a lemon) That's one of the promo posters from HBP, can't wait for that movie, I could squeal with glee. Anyone who doesn't know what happens in the sixth book leads a wholey boring and unelightened non-life.

I've even gotten my mommy to read these books, she was bored one day, and I had been nagging her to read them since I first discovered their indescribable awesomeness [again, Brent, shut up, this is my blog, and since I am the Empress of Awesomeness, your opinions of Harry Potter and all things related to him and merry band of miscreants is invalid, plus you haven't read the books so that makes your disdain for them unreasonable]and she finally said "FINE" [we will ignore her unenlighted lack of excitement]and she spent the next week reading them at every free moment, she even woke me up at like 1 am to find the next book (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, a convert!!!) But that was like before book 7 came out and she has since forgotten the joys Harry's adventures (sad but true).

Let me remind the Harry Potter Nay-Sayers (Brent) that arguing with the Empress of Awesomeness carries a punishment of 40 lashes with a wet noodle adminstered by Hagrid... nude.

Future Family Portrait

2009-03-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Could happen.

*You may notice that I look a little frazzled in the picture but really, can you blame me? Look at the size of those kids heads!! I'm probably still walking with a limp.

Slow Torture ~

2009-03-26T10:00:00.000-07:00

Better Known as Teeth Cleaning.

Usually, I am not one to whine about routine things like dentist visits, but HOLY HELL!! did I suffer this morning, I think my gums are still bleeding. Routine Teeth Cleaning my ass, as nice as the lovely dental hygenist (I think that's who does the teeth cleaning) was, it was horrible. The scraping and the digging, and the grinding, god even the sounds were awful; not to mention how much I enjoy drooling all over myself from having my mouth open for that long. At least the flouride treatment tasted like bubble gum, but I think I swallowed some of it which I kinda think isn't a good thing... and I got a free toothbrush and dental floss (YAY!) it's like "Hey! I just finished torturing you so badly your great-great-great-great grand descendents will feel it but here's some implements of horrific agony of your very own to see you through till your next cleaning." ( say implements of horrific agony here cause after this morning anything even remotely resembling tooth cleaning devices seems awful)

And to top it ALL off, I scheduled the appointment to get my other two wisdom teeth out... Peachy Keen, bring on the soul sucking agony, hopefully this time I can avoid an infection that swells the side of my face to the point where I look like the bad half of Rush Limbaugh*

.....

*Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 10,000 bonus points if you can figure which side is his bad side.

Had to add this!!

2009-03-25T13:19:00.001-07:00

Good song, better music video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7A_bJFZNXE

Hottie!! (Yes I am serious)

2009-03-25T12:40:00.001-07:00

Hottie Moniker: Alan Rickman God of the Sexy Voice (Well it should be)
Best Known for: Hogwarts Smexy Potions Master (mmmmmmmm, Master) but honestly just the tip of the iceberg for his awesomeness.
Place of Birth: Hammersmith, London, England (that's in Europe, for the unedumacated inbred hillbillies that read this blog)
DoB: February 21, 1946 (hmm he's actually 63 hmmmmm)
Worth Checking out: An Awfully Big Adventure ( I still don't understand why it's called that), Die Hard, Dogma, ANYTHING ELSE HE HAS EVER GRACED WITH HIS PRESENCE EVER!!

Additional FanGirl schpeel: So hot, he has a voice perfectly made for brutal (but hilarious) sarcasm and wickedly naughty whispers, I seriously could listen to him talk for hours on end. And he has an AWESOME sense of humour, love love love. And Ya know... British! *drools*

Inner Lesbian Happy Dance Hottie:

I am to lazy to write up a whole thing about her, suffice it to say, I think she's hot, I like that she's curvy, seems mildly intelligent, and I just think she's pretty. I can't make any comment on her acting ability cause I've never seen anything she's done, but who cares? She's a fox.

Quote of the Whenever!! Also PG-13

2009-03-25T12:32:00.001-07:00

Since I appear to be on an Alan Rickman kick, here are a few quotes from one of my favorite movies (Brownie Points for knowing what movie it is, I-Was-Raised-Under-A-Boulder Points for having no idea what movie it's from)

SPOILERS

Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God.
[Bethany sprays him with fire extinguisher]
Metatron: [coughing] Fuck!
Metatron: [emerging from smoke] Sweet Jesus! Do you have to use the whole can?
Bethany: Who the FUCK are you, and what the FUCK are you doing in my room?
Metatron: I'm soaked and she's surly, that's rich!

Bethany: What are you?
Metatron: I'm pissed off is what I am! Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single.

Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.

Metatron: Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.

Metatron: You people. If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?

Hmmmmm, maybe i should just post the entire script? It's awesome, go watch the movie I will wait...

...

...

...

...

Nuts to this, anyhoo, uh, tootles

Wow! Long Time no Post (PG-13 Post)

2009-03-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

Hi!

Just in case you were wondering, no I haven't dropped off the face of the planet, I have been wrapped up in work, warcraft, and knitting, with no time to blog. So here is an update into the glitz and glamour of the Awesome lifestyle.

On Saturday I went out for dinner and a movie with my brother and his fiancee, Haley, (who not so secretly whorships me cause i am the most awesome type of supercool, and who is a raiving hell-bitch for going to the Dominican Republic without me, [Jealous? Me? Neva!])

Dinner wasn't bad, I had escargots (delicious) and ceasar salad (meh), I was mildly peeved though when I went to pay and they had trouble breaking a $50 bill when the bill was over $17.00 and it's a super busy restaurant.

Anyhoo, then we went to see Knowing (with Nicolas Cage who actually plays an astrophysists[?] which is even less believable than a mathmetician) it's on the list of movies I want to see. I kinda didn't like it and I didn't understand (spoiler warning) what the point of his kids hearing aid was? it seemed pointless to me given the rest of the plot(end Spoiler warning) . Also, it was very loud at parts which is understandible given the (spoiler warning) Airplane and subway crashes (end Spoiler warning). And the ending annopyed me for some reason, so it only gets a 2 star Awesomeness Factor rating.

I also watched an Alan Rickman movie last night called An Awfully Big Adventure. I thought the acting was superb. Hugh Grant was a horrible creep in it and he did it well. Alan Rickman was, as always, phenominal. And I totally didn't see the twist at the end coming, yee gads (squicky). I'd like to point out that (spoiler warning) I think the movie is rated R, and there is the more than mildly creepy part when Alan Rickmans character (who is probably supposed to be in his early 40's) has sex with a 16 year old girl... it's as tastefully done as possible but the age factor is a touch icky. (end Spoiler warning)

Please don't bother pointing out the hipocrisy of being creeped out by the age difference in the movie when Alan Rickman is now 62 and I am 23 (a 39 year age difference), and I want to marry him and have his babies.

Applying for Jobs 101: Cover Letters

2009-03-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

Pay attention class! There will be a pop quiz later!

So it has come to my attention that some people have no idea how to write a cover letter or even what it's actual purpose is. From my extensive (yeah right) research, and what I have learned from various schooling, I have determined that, in a nutshell, a cover letter is a test to see how well you can sell yourself in one or two short paragraphs. Here is an example for someone applying at Burger King:
Cover Letter

Superman
Fortress of Solitude
Secret Address

Date: March 10, 2009

To Whom it May Concern:

Due to the economic down turn, and the evil fiends of the world continually finding ways of destroying my spiffy costume, I find myself in need of a part time job to supplement my paltry superhero monetary rewards. I feel I would be an excellent candidate for the position of Burger Cook.

I feel I would be an asset to your franchise simply because my chiseled jaw, superb physique, and startlingly blue eyes would generate a great deal of female attention and patronage in your restaurant. Also, due to my impervious flesh I am decidedly unlikely to come away with a face like an oil slick and enough pimples to disgust a maggot, also there is little chance of work place injury (unless there is kryptonite in your secret sauce). I also feel it prudent to mention that I can flip 300 burgers a second, thus negating all need for other burger cooks, in any Burger King within a 3000 mile radius.

I am excited about working for your company and look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

-------> Signature

Superman

Well, Superman appears to be a bit of a yakkity yak, but you get the jist. I will be going into further detail on our next installment.

A Po-em

2009-03-06T12:12:00.000-08:00

The Arrow and the Song
By: Henry Wadsworth Logfellow

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

I discovered this poem from CSI (Episode Ending Happy from season 7, if'n you're interested) and it just struck me as beautiful, it's not long, it's not terribly profound, but I like it, and thought I should share it with you.

Mirie's Awesome Movie List

2009-03-06T11:33:00.001-08:00

There seems to be a theme for this week.

So, here is a list of Movies I have watched over and over and over and over ad nauseum. Be warned that there is a subliminal message in this post that will instruct you to go out and rent/purchase/steal these movies and watch them till you start questioning the reasoning behind interrupting the movie to make a trip to the bathroom/pass out/ starve to death.

(These are not in order of Awesomeness I am just writing them down as a remember I them)

Harry Potter 1-5 (though I have no doubt that I will watch the 6th one till I have it memorized as well... I'm not joking... MEMORIZED)

Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3 (oh my god the sheer Awesomeness, and KEITH RICHARDS!!)

Forrest Gump (This may actually be my favorite movie, it's nice to have some proof that I might not be as shallow as my Hottie posts would indicate, isn't it? *pfft* of course I'm that shallow)

Fast and the Furious

Lord of the Rings 1-3 (The EXTENDED versions, all in one sitting, I kid you not)

Cinderella (stop Laughing)

Iron Man (sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet movie)

Pineapple Express (sheer hilarity)

Batman Begins and the Dark Knight (oh Heath *sobs*)

Superman Returns (Pretty Awesome)

Pitch Black (Weeeeee Vin Diesel)

Braveheart (in retrospect, as much as I love that movie, I don't think it was suitable for a 10 year old, which is how old I was when it came out)

300 (the GREATEST chick-flick/gayboy movie ever!! I'd like to have Gerard Butlers babies, and I totally didn't recognize David Wenham, without the long Faramir Hair and my-dad-just-kicked-my-puppy expression)

Love Actually (cute and sappy with a heavy dose of Alan Rickman, anything with any kind of dose of Alan Rickman is a good movie)

Dogma (Alan Rickman at his witty best, Selma Hayek is hot, and God is Canadian and a chick what more do you want?)

X-men Trilogy ('nuff said)

Gone in 60 seconds (car chases, explosions, death, a main character named Memphis, my Grandma calling it a 'B' movie, priceless, not to mention Vinnie Jones)

Brokeback Mountain (I am an unapologetic fag-hag, if you don't like it go suck a lemon, plus the acting in this movie was really well done, especially for two straight guys pretending to be gay)

The Green Mile (I don't actually own this movie but if I did I would watch it as often as I watch Forrest Gump)

I'll proabaly add more must see movies later, for now, go forth my internet minions, SERVE YOUR EMPRESS and enjoy.

Hottie!!

2009-03-06T11:16:00.000-08:00

'scuse me while I find a napkin to mop up the drool.

Anyhoo, on with the pertinent Hottie info: (as if you care about anything but the pictures)

Hottie Moniker: Vin Diesel (even his name is hot, and it suits him, if some dork like Shia LeBeouf tried pulling that off you'd laugh in his face [if you don't already cause seriously, Shia? *snorts*])
Best Known for: His delicious muscles and growly-just-had-the-best-orgasm-of-my-life voice
Place of Birth: New York, New York
DoB: July 18, 1967
Worth Checking out: Fast and the Furious 1 and 4 (which is on my list of must watch movies for this year) Pitch Black (Chronicles of Riddick not so much), Man Apart

And Cause I don't want to be accused of being Gender Biased on the Hottie Posts here's something for the guys, and lesbians, and chicks with inner lesbians

Hottie Moniker: Megan Fox (and I don't think that's an alias)
Best Known for: Bein' a Hot Bitch
Place of Birth: Rockwood, Tennessee
DoB: May 16, 1986
Worth Checking out: Transformers, and her tattoos.

Movie List!

2009-03-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

*REVISED*
Push - (in theatres) Chris Evans is a delicious Hottie, and the trailer kicks so much ass.

Milk - (in theatres) The story of Harvey Milk A San Fransisco Supervisor assissnated in 1978. Staring Sean Penn, and the hottie James Franco

Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)

Transformers 2 - (June 24) SO! I have now joined the ranks of the MILLIONS who have seen Transformers, and I must say that the Inner Geek will be satisfied for some time to come. Also, the two main chicks in Transformers are WAY HOT! The Aussie kinda looks like Rebecca Romijin. (Unfortunately my sentiment for Shia LeBeouf from the previous movie list stands. He’s a dork)

Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.

Movies that might be worth a look:

Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)

Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)

Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)

The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?

And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:

Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.

Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)

GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.

Careful Mirie!! You're Inner Geek is Showing

2009-03-06T08:43:00.001-08:00

So... I watched Transformers last night, and despite my disdain for Shia Lebeouf, I found it INDESCRIBABLY AWESOME!!!!! The Inner Geek squealed like 5 year old with a skinned knee and did the Happy Dance of Glee when Optimus Prime transformed, GOD! The awesomesness. I was also unreasonably horrified when Megatron tore Jazz in half, seriously, I was only slightly less horrified than I would've been if he had torn a human in half, messed up eh?

Also, the guy that played Lead Army Guy was supa hot!!

I still hate Shia Lebeouf, I don't know why something about him just makes me wanna punch the pipsqueak in the face. Although he did do a FINE job of being a bumbling moron for the better part of the movie.

Awesome Must See movies of 2009

2009-03-05T08:56:00.000-08:00

Push - (in theatres) Chris Evans is a deliscious Hottie, and the trailer kicks so much ass.

Fast and the Furious 4 - (April 3) Vin Diesel, muscle cars, racing, no doubt plenty of violence and explosions WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!! (Paul Walker is also in it)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - (May 1) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ('nuff said)

Public Enemies - (July 1, Yay for Canada DAY!) Johhny Depp in a serious role, very cool looking, can't wait for it.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - (July 17) Yay for Harry Potter, I imagine I am going to burst into tears in the middle of the movie theatre, when they toss Dumbles off the Astronomy Tower; and don't give me any lip about spoiling it for you, EVERYONE, even those of you raised under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs knows that Dumbles dies)

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - (September 24) The last role of Heath Ledger, hopefully he does as sublime a job in this as he did in The Dark Knight.

Movies that might be worth a look:

Knowing - (March 20) Nicholas Cage as a Mathematician? (yeah I have trouble buying it too but the premise is interesting)

Terminator Salvation - (May 22) Christian Bale as John Connor (though I didn't see the last Terminator movie, again, yes you read that correctly)

Dorian Gray - (September 11 UK) Google Dorian Gray, it's an awesome tale, and it stars Colin Firth (who's awesome) and Ben Barnes (who's smoking hot, and played Prince Caspian in Narnia)

The Wolf Man - (November 6) Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, werewolves, what more do you want?

And the List of Movies that I have no interest in seeing but will likely get dragged to anyway:

Watchmen - (March 6) I have been told by Jesse (my subordinate at work) that I should read the comics before watching the movie, I will attempt it.

Star Trek - (May 8) I am supremely uninterested in any Star Trek movie without Data,I seriously almost cried when they killed him (poor poor Data *hearts*)

Transformers 2 - (June 24) Having not seen the first Transformers (yes you read that correctly) and my complete disregard/dislike for Shea LeBeouf (spelling?) unless there are a supreme number of HUMONGUS explosions and other entertaining things of that nature (such as Shea getting crushed to death at the end by a Gremlin [humiliating? I think so!])I don't see myself liking this movie.

GI Joe - (August 7) From the movie posters I can see there may be a great deal of leather in this movie, and also Joseph Gordon Levitt as The Cobra Commander (no seriously, stop laughing) this is clearly a comedy.

Seven things

2009-03-04T15:43:00.000-08:00

Seven things to do before I die...
Learn to Speak another language
Hike to Macchu Picchu
Visit Santorini
Knit a Lace Shawl for Momsies
Take Kayleen to Disneyland
Write a novel
Take dance lessons

Seven things I cannot do...
Be male (and seriously who would want to)
Run a marathon (although I wouldn’t mind being able to do a half marathon)
Sing well
Speak Klingon
Understand Sign Language (although I’d like to remedy that)
Cook Filet Mignon
See worth a damn without my glasses

Seven things that attract me to my man...
Sense of Humour
Open mindedness
Strong work ethic
Ballsy enough to handle me at my bitchiest (BELIEVE ME it takes a real man)
Intelligence
Being excellent potential father material
None annoyingly sports addicted.

Seven books (series) that I love...
Lord of the Rings
Interview with the Vampire
The Anita Blake Series
The first three of the Twilight Series
All seven Harry Potter books
The Hobbit
The Chronicles of Narnia
The Sword of Truth Series (what can I say I like series)

Seven things I say...
Doh!
Go to Hell
I love you, baby doll (frequently said to the Niece of Awesomeness)
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! ( ala Peppermint Pattie)
Most swear words (with alarming frequency)
I heart your soul
You smell

Seven movies I've loved...
Pirates of the Caribbean
Lord of the Rings
Forrest Gump
Braveheart
Interview with the Vampire
X-men Trilogy
X-men Origins: Wolverine (that movie isn’t even out yet but I am so sure of its impending Awesomeness, I already LOVE it)

Seven things that are most important to me…
Family
Friends
Truth
Trust
REAL Justice
Love
Happiness

Hottie!!

2009-02-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hottie Moniker: Taylor Kitsch
Best Known for: His character on The Covenant whose name I can't spell or properly pronounce.
Place of Birth: Canada YO!
DoB: Meh
Worth Checking out: Dudes, he's playing GAMBIT (whom I lurve, and he better have the cajun accent to or there'll be hell to pay) in the new Wolverine movie, it will be AWESOME (Ryan Reynolds and Liev Schreiber [no idea how to spell that] also make an appearance, and they seem to do a pretty durn good job.

Today's Hottie:

2009-02-20T16:14:00.001-08:00

Hottie Moniker: Tom Welling
Best Known for: portraying horrifying levels of teenage angst, might have something to do with being the last son of Krypton. Also, quite good at the cute and bashful farm boy thing, definately a guy you can take home to meet your discerning grandmother.
Place of Birth: Dunno, somewhere in the US (can you tell I put a lot of thought into these posts? I mean beyond the drool worthy pictures and witty commentary?)
DoB: Sometime, I think 1978, don't quote me on that
Worth Checking out: As far as I can tell the only thing he's done besides Smallville, is Cheaper by the Dozen (which I thought was pretty damn funny)

Hottie Awesomeness Rating (*): **** (I almost gave him a bonus point for being able to pull off the pink shirt without screaming "HEY OVER HERE!!!! I"MA HOMOSEXUAL!!!)

BEYOND AWESOME WEBSITE

2009-02-19T14:22:00.000-08:00

Look at the website I JUST DISCOVERED, http://www.morphthing.com/morph on this website you can pick pictures of different celebrities/famous people, and MORPH them together, it's AWESOME, I forsee much time wasting on this website. Check out my mad morph skills:

Brad Pitts worst nightmare.

Yay!! Hottie!!

2009-02-19T13:59:00.001-08:00

*drools to the point of Saint Bernard immitation*

If you don't know who this is right off the bat (and you should cause only complete morons, and amish people [with no tv's] wouldn't); picture him with uber-smexy beard scruff, a wife-beater, and 12 INCH ADAMANTIUM CLAWS!!! Now you recognize him (I though you might).

Hottie Moniker: Hugh Jackman
Best Known for: WOLVERINE!! (like you needed me to tell you that after you pictured him with the smexy scruff)
Place of Birth: Australia (can we say smexy accent? Yum)
DoB: To lazy to look it up, and honestly, when you look as delicious as him, who cares how old he is?
Worth Checking out: Swordfish

Hottie Awesomeness Rating (*): *****

(*)Hottie Awesome Rating is based on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being Jack Black after eating 16 extra spicy burritos, and not bathing or shaving for 6 months, and 5 being, well... High Jackman in a navy pinstripe suit

Monthly Book Review:

2009-02-18T15:46:00.000-08:00

Title: The Tales of Beetle the Bard (in case you didn't get that from the picture)

Author: Do you REALLY have to ask? It’s Courtney Love… seriously

Awesomeness Rating (*): ***

Review: It was pretty funny, though I expected Dumbledore’s commentary to be a bit more witty, all in all a must read for Harry Potter fans, and anyone who wants to see what all the hubbub surrounding J.K. Rowling and her vast imagination is about, without committing to the entire HP series. (Because honestly, you start one book, you WILL have to read them all; it’s true, I used to think it was all the HP hype was very ridiculous, until a friend of the Little Sister of Awesomeness left a copy of HP1 at our house and I took a peak, could not put it down to save my soul)

P.S. Does anyone find that the voice in their head takes on an English accent when you read her books? It’s not just me… right?

* the Awesomeness Rating is 1to 5, 1 being Britney Spears’ dreaaaaaaaaaaaadful performance last year, you know which one I’m talking about, unless you’re well acquainted with the idiots who don’t know who wrote the Tales of Beetle the Bard, and 5 being so ripe with awesomeness I can barely contain myself.

Quote!

2009-02-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

Some Punk: Man, there has been an ass whoppin' on every other block!
Nick Stokes: There's about to be an ass whoppin' on this one

I love this quote, seriously, I replayed it like 16 times, it comes from the episode Fannysmackin' just after Greg gets beaten up, and Nick says this right before he punches K-Fed in the gut, (I replayed that about 20 times) waaaaaaaaaaay awesome.

Hottie of the Whenever I feel like it

2009-02-18T14:47:00.000-08:00

For those of you who were hiding under a boulder the size of the meteor that killed the dinosaurs since the year 2000, (when CSI premiered) this is George Eads, he plays Nick Stokes on the original CSI, (which happens to be the only one worth watching with any regularity, New York is alright cause of Gary Sinise, and the hottie that plays the guy from Brooklyn, Miami is a waste video tape). For more yummy picks of Georgie, google George Eads or Nick Stokes, go to images, and cover your keyboard in saran wrap to catch the drool. Georgie's lawyers will laugh at you if you try to sue him for keyboard damage due to drool, (don't ask me how I know this).

Random

2009-02-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hello!! It has been pointed out to me by my adoring fans (Nikki) that I don't post often enough, that's cause I usually forget that I even have a blog, so here's a new post!

I've been fairly un busy the past week or so, so I decided I really needed to focus on some of my hobbies! Like Knitting, I have decided to knit each of my lovely aunts a lovely scarf for next christmas, (Nikki, don't tell your mom) they will all be different patterns and a different colour, and I am starting in March cause that's about how long it will take me having never attempted lace before. I also ordered yarn to make the February Lady sweater, I have three reasons for doing this:

Reason 1:
I've been eyeing it for a while, and since it's February, I thought what the hell, let's try it.

Reason 2:
I freeze my butt off at work, I work with a bunch of guys that must run really hot cause I can be wearing 3 layers and still be cold and they will complain if I turn up the heat.

Reason 3:
And likely the most influential reason...The Yarn Harlot's doing it. I am a huge fan of hers, she's intelligent, and hilarious, and Canadian (which is extra awesome). Seriously, google her (cause I can't figure out how to post links) when I first discovered her blog I had to go all the way back to the first post and read them all,
the mind boggles at some of the stuff she knits and the speed with which she does it.

And if the previous paragraph didn't make seem like a raiving fangirl, wait till I tell the most exciting thing I heard last week, THE ROLLING STONES are going on tour this YEAR!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm very excited, and I WILL see them in concert, in the best seats I can possibly afford, or sell my soul to get. And I've managed to convince myself that I am not the only 20 something in the world to find them terribly attractive (my proof is that my sister, who is even younger than me feels the same way, and the fact the Ronnie Wood is getting groiny with a 19 year old).

I also joined twitter, but I can't figure out how to hook the durn thing to my phone, or link it to my blog so that's gonna be slow going, oh well.

Anyhoo, look forward to future posts and pictures of the yarn I bought for my February Lady sweater (mines commercial yarn cause I don't have the Harlots mad fibre skills), and the lovely bit of lace weight I bought for my first attempt at lace.

Quote of the Day!!

2009-01-29T13:20:00.000-08:00

So you may've noticed that I sometimes forget the Quote of the Day, so I am changing it to the Quote of Whenever I Find One Worth Posting (a little lengthy but more truthful)on todays QOWIFOWP comes from the Awesome and lamentably deceased FREDDIE MERCURY!!

"I won't be a rock star. I will be a legend."

That's awesome.

Last weekend was unawesome

2009-01-29T12:45:00.001-08:00

So I am just getting around to posting about my last weekend. It kinda sucked, played some Warcraft didn't advance very much, slept a lot but still felt tired, and other annoying things of that nature.

Also, I didn't win the $43,000,000.00 from the 6/49 that I believe the Lottery Gods should've had earmarked for yours truly, but no they gave it to THREE people from Ontario, how cruel is it to brake up that much money? I would've given all $43,000,000.00 a good home. Perhaps it's my punishment, for my fickle lottery ticket love, like those guys that suddenly switch their favorite hockey team cause the team is suddenly a blondie away from winning the Stanley Cup, and there's 1 minute left in the game and buddies new team is leading by one point, and he's on the edge of his seat waiting to gloat to his friends that his team WON THE STANLEY CUP, and the centre for the opposing team is skating down the ice ready to test the awesomeness of the young goalie that hasn't let a singel goal in ALL game when said goalie suddenly trips on his pads soars across the ice at light speed, crashes through the boards and ends up with his head under the referees wifes skirt (which wouldn't be at all fun for out young goalie, cause most referees are old and their wives are likely to be also)So not only does he let the goal in, the referees give the opposing team a penalty for the young goalies gross perversion, and despite being both dazed and confused from crashing through the boards and also viewing what the young goalie sees as the oldest lady bits in history, Coach Dumbass sends him out to goal against the Penalty Shot cause he's only missed one goal, and just as the guy taking the shot slaps the puck, our young goalie succumbs to his massive head wound and collapses as the puck sails into the net, and Buddies new Team LOSES!! And the Hockey Gods (and his friends) laugh at him.

That's like what happened to my lottery ticket winnings, I offended the Lottery Gods, by only buying a ticket when there is big money involved, a complete lack of loyalty and the said "We'll see about that!! Where were you when we gave away $4,000,000.00 last month?!" And in my head they sound just like Donald Trump.

That is all.

Premptive Flame Supressant

2009-01-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

Allow me to point out, before anyone gets upset about the mean things I wrote in my previous post, that I am a chubby girl, I am not trying to lower anyones self esteem, I am just pointing out that making yourself look fatter really won't help the self esteem thing.

Having said that, Do you really care that much what I or anyone else thinks? And if you do I heartily suggest learning to recognize assholes for what the are: Brainless orifices from which feces is expelled, so the next time some asshole talks shit about you STUFF A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER IN THEIR ORIFICE!!

The Dichotomy of Good and Evil: or why fat chicks shouldn't wear tights!

2009-01-29T12:19:00.001-08:00

Does anyone else feel that the purchasing and wearing of tights, leggings, and skinny jeans should be better regulated? That there should be guidelines or even laws for purchasing these products?

I submit for your approval Awesome Miries Guide for Buying and Wearing Skinny Chick Duds:

1: All people attempting to purchase any of the above mentioned leg coverings must submit to a body fat percentage test… Anyone over a certain percentage (like 10) should NOT be allowed to purchase these products.

2: If you are over the age of 30 (unless you have a body fat percentage of like 5 and have never put your body through the horror of having children) do not buy these products.

3: Please ensure that if you meet the above criteria that the products fit properly, camel toe and the perpetual wedgie are even less attractive in tights and leggings, then they are in jeans.

4: If you’re a bit of a chunky monkey or older than you should be and you insist on buy these products, be sure to pair them with a top that will completely cover your body flaws, such as a dimply bum, cottage cheese thighs, or cankles. An example of a proper Chunky Chick leggings outfit, is a lovely mid thigh, or just above the knee length sweater dress, or skirt, and a pair of knee high heeled boots that will hide those cankles, observe:

Picture taken from here: http://www.stylehive.com/bookmark/Women-Womens-Cowl-neck-sweater-dress-Dresses-Dresses--Gap-248487

Now, obviously, this model is not chunky, nor does she have obvious cankles, but lets face it do you know how hard it is to find a decent picture of a plus sized model in a sweater dress? Come on.

5: Also anyone over the age of 15 MUST stay away from these: (unless it’s for Halloween)

Or similar obnoxiously coloured products.
Picture comes from here: http://girldir.com/street-style/what-do-girls-wear-these-days

NDP Supporters shouldn't read this: Also I will probably ramble extensively

2009-01-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

"NDP Leader Jack Layton has already said he will vote against the government's latest budget because he believes a coalition would serve the country better.

However, Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, who succeeded Dion, has not appeared keen on that idea. He has said he wants to see what's in the budget, and won't say whether he will support it until Wednesday."

This quote comes from here: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2009/01/26/budgetadvancer.html

Let me start by saying that Jack Layton is an attention power whoring asshole.

Parliament is back in session today, and the Conservatives are going to be presenting their new budget plans, I for one am looking forward to seeing how they are planning to get us through the US caused world recetion. As stated in the above article, they are planning to spend money to the point of a severe deficit, which we haven't had since 1996-97; I am actually encouraged by this and I will tell you why:

I am by no means an economic expert (seriously I can barely keep track of my own finances)but at first it seemed to me that 64 billion dollars over 2 years is a HELLA LOT OF MONEY!! It actually isn't that much, for our estimated population of 33,534,000 (per Wikipedia) that's only $1,908.51 per person, which wouldn't last the average Canadian household very long, and it would help people on EI and Welfare even less, but by investing it in the Canadian industries, it creates jobs and security for many Canadians, the proposed tax cut also contributes to making things easier. Also, would not investing in Canadian industries boost our exports and things? Increasing the money Canada is bringing in? and leave us in a better place to get rid of the deficit when the recetion is over (hopefulyl soon)? Makes sense to me. Isn't the old adage "You have to spend money to make money"? Besides it worked for Hitler.

Also, as for the bit about Jack Layton, and the quote from article, how childish is it that old Jackie boy has already decided to vote against the new budget even before he's heard all of it? This is someone who wants to have a hand in running our country? It's all well and good for him to vote against the budget cause it doesn't effect his bottom line, no politician in the history of the modern world has ever been laid off or not gotten paid, or had to worry about how he was going to feed/cloth/shelter his family. This is all about him wanting to FINALLY be in a position of power, and lets face it can anyone remember the last time the NDP being in power was a good thing?

As for the good people of BC, how about having ICBC get off their asses and start giving back some of it's enormous profits, a brake in insurance premiums would certainly be helpful to someone like me who pays $250.00 per month.

Your thoughts?

When I Rule the World:

2009-01-26T13:22:00.000-08:00

1. All my subjects will refer to me as the Empress of Awesomeness
2. No Drag Queen will be allowed to be prettier than me, I can handle a chick being prettier than me, but a dude dressed as a chick might be too much for my queenly self esteem to handle.
3. Any drag queen that commits the above crime will be forced to where their grandmothers clothing… from the 80’s, with big chunky head bands (for a year)
4. All religions will be reviewed by a panel of unbiased judges (atheists) and if found to be harmful to anyone besides members of their own religion will be abolished. I say members of their own religion because if you’re crazy enough to consent to something like running bare assed between two rows of people with studded paddles smacking said bare ass as your initiation you deserve it (as long as your over 18). NOTHING that either directly or indirectly harms a child will be permitted.
5. Anyone caught correcting the Empress of Awesomeness or ‘advising’ her of an error on her part will result in the immediate and humiliating punishment of 40 lashes with a wet noodle. (A second offense will result in the perpetrator forced to dance naked through streets of Awesomeland singing Miley Cyrus songs… I’m not joking, unless your super fat, cause nobody wants to see that)
6. Any previously unheard word that comes from the Empress mouth will be immediately posted on dictionary.com with whatever meaning the Empress says it has, so that everyone may enjoy the gems of wisdom that issue from the twisted cavern of her mind.
7. Everyone will be required by law to acknowledge that the Niece of Awesomeness (known to some as Kayleen) is the cutest, smartest, most perfect, little lady that ever there was. (Failure to do this may result in your expulsion from the Awesome planet [previously known as Earth] via the Empresses size twelve boot in your ass [seriously dudes, you’ll end up in the stratosphere])
8. All crimes committed will be severely punished. Seriously, it will mildly nicer than Vlad the Impaler
9. Whatever the Niece of Awesomeness wants, she gets, period.
10. School to at least grade 12 will be Mandatory, there is no excuse for illiteracy.
11. World Hunger will be abolished, by any means necessary
12. Research will be focused on cures for current incurable ailments, and the prevention of catching those incurable ailments, anyone caught creating any type virus or illness will NOT like the consequences
13. There will be a limit to how much any one person can earn in wages per year, no one needs to earn $25 million dollars a year, when there are children starving to death the world over.
14. Every country in the world will use the same currency, and all foods, will hold the same dollar value no matter where it comes from
15. All people will be entitled to not just the basic needs of life, everyone should have enough money for ample food, clean water, clothing, and shelter.
16. With the exception of lazy assholes who don’t want to work, you can fucking starve

Angry Rant: (contains foul language, you are warned)

2009-01-23T11:07:00.001-08:00

I have discovered something that spectacularly pisses me off: being cussed out by a perfect stranger over the phone. Now, having never worked for a Technical Support call centre, I have never had someone do this to me before.

What the hell gives someone the right to do that? Was this person raised in a barn? Jesus Christ! And seriously do you want a perfect stranger to know your an ill mannered pig? Save it for your family and friends. God who just starts with the Fuck this and fuck that, and giving me orders? I am like morally offended here!!

(And also please don't point out the fact that I am cussing, because seriously at this point only family and friends read my blog, and they know that I am foul mouthed [except to perfect strangers on the phone cause WHO DOES THAT?]AND I warned you of the impending cursing at the beginning)

Gossip Girl Unawesomeness and Awesomeness

2009-01-23T10:36:00.000-08:00

I thought I would give you an example of what I consider an appalling fashion choice:

And know for an awesome fashion choice: (I really like this outfit, it's very sophisticated without being school marmish, it helps that Leighton Meester is a babe)

Both these pictures were taken from here:http://www.gossipgirlinsider.com/

Quote of the Day: (from the Monthly TV Show)

2009-01-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Lily: Did you really try to send him anthrax through the mail?
Chuck: The black market's not what it used to be.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, awesome. Have another:

Chuck: If your people don't come up with anything, maybe we can try #26.
Lily: (reading) Crash Jack in plane. The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.
Chuck: There's insurance.

Monthly TV Show Review:

2009-01-23T09:47:00.001-08:00

Title: Gossip Girl

Starring: Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Ed Westwick, Chace Crawford, Penn Badgley, Taylor Momsen, Kelly Rutherford, Matthew Settle, Connor Paulo

Awesomeness Rating: 4

Review: I read a lot of comments bashing this show, I can’t understand why, I think it’s people reading to much into things, yes it’s over the top, and a little contrived, but for sheer entertainment value it can hardly be beat; The constant backstabbing, and catty arguments are hilarious, the fashion is at times appalling and other times awesome. The acting is better than expected (especially from young Taylor Momsen, even though she seems like kind of an emo slut to me), and most importantly the sheer number of hotties on the show make it worth watching (Ed Westwick? Who is actually English, and supa hot. Chase Crawford? Possibly gay but still adorable) Also, I like how the writers don’t treat everyone like their simpletons, by using words like duplicity (http://www.dictionary.com/). I also Love the song Everytime, by the fictional Gossip Girl band, Linoln Hawk

Antici……….pation

2009-01-22T15:57:00.000-08:00

A list of a few things that I am anticipating for the next year:

X-men Origins: Wolverine
Reason: Hugh Jackman ‘nough said… oh and FINALLY the appearance of Gambit (my second favorite Marvel character, Wolvy being my first) who is played by a CANADIAN!! which is awesome.

Fast and The Furious 4
Reason: Vin Diesel and the guaranteed sexy cars (me likey cars) and car chases and what not.

The future ENORMOUS popularity of my blog
Reason: It’s awesome

The Next Celebrity Meltdown
Reason: It provides me with fodder for my awesome blog

Angelina and Brad adopting and or giving birth (Angie not Brad) to ANOTHER child
Reason: It’s inevitable

Quote of the Day!! And Q&A

2009-01-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

"I'm a peaceful person, but, frankly, I feel like going over there and applying a fist or two." Brian May

Q&A Part!! (no one has actually asked me this question, but I figure once people discover the awesomeness of my blog, the question is bound to come up, so I should plan ahead)

Q: How does one gain a mention on the Awesomest Blog that ever Awesomed?

A: The criteria for a mention on this blog is as follows:

You must be awesome
or
Supremely mockable (is that a word?)
or
Have enough money for a bribe worthy of a mention on my awesome blog

P.S. Brian May is AWESOME, and if you don't know who Brian May is shame on you. Isn't his hair splendiforous?

Unawesome Fugliness

2009-01-22T13:14:00.000-08:00

So, since this is a new blog, I haven’t decided what ‘direction’ I want it to go, I’m thinking for now it’ll be whatever I pull out of my *AHEM*.

While reading the MSN Style Winners and Losers list for this week I came across this:

This is one of the most hideous 'dresses' I have ever seen, it looks like she skinned Sasquatch, where the hell is PETA when you need them?

Awesome First Post

2009-01-22T12:39:00.001-08:00

In light of this being my very first blog post (which will be awesome) I have elected to share with you, 82 Random things about me (there was going to be 100 but I was doing it at work, and quiting time came, and well... who the hell stays at the office after quiting time?) So, enjoy:

1. I am awesome
2. Heavy use of sarcasm is an integral part of my everyday life
3. Using words like integral makes me feel brainy
4. One of my biggest ‘pet’ peeves is small animals as fashion accessories, I hope the little dog you have pisses in your Luis Vuitton purse
5. I like to read, and am very into series such as: Harry Potter (Don’t roll your eyes at me), The Sword of Truth (awesomeness), and Anita Blake (for the sheer male aesthetics), I also enjoyed The Twilight series ( until I got to the last book, and discovered what a raving stink pot it was, seriously if you’re gonna read the series, stop after the third book, and if you’ve already bought the last book read only the beginning up to the end of the wedding then take it back to the store and use the refund to buy a decent book)
6. I have a favorite movie from like every genre (except porn, I don’t get out that much)
7. I don’t watch much TV but I assure you that the shows I do watch are ripe with awesomeness
8. I spend an abnormal amount of time coming up with ‘perfect’ crimes ( by perfect I mean, me not getting caught and ending up in some female prison as the bitch of a 40 something bull dyke named Big Bertha)
9. I like to write, but usually get a few pages into the “GREATEST NOVEL EVER THOUGHT UP” and lose interest
10. I am a big fan of classic rock, and feel that everyone should love Queen and the Rolling Stones as I do (which is probably too much, and bordering on obsessive)
11. I am a lesson in contradictions as I enjoy playing games such as the Sims and yet still find it completely illogical to waste your life playing a game that has you ‘living’ a life
12. I enjoy knitting and sewing and various other textile arts but am absolute rubbish at completing projects, I get 3/4 of the way done and lose interest (seems to be a theme with me)
13. I have two brothers, to sisters, and two almost sister in laws, that I am quite fond of
14. I get along with my parents (except when I am trying to pry them away from my laptop)
15. I like chocolate way more than is healthy for me
16. I swear a bit (who am I kidding I could put a sailor to shame)
17. My favorite salty snack (get your minds out of the gutter) is popcorn
18. And Miss Vickie’s Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar chips
19. My best friend is my little sister (no one get offended it’s just cause she loves Queen and the Rolling Stones with as much, if not more, fervor than I do)
20. Some of my favorite words are, shenanigans, carousing, and plotz
21. One of my secret vices is Celebrity Best and Worst dressed lists (guess it’s not such a secret anymore)
22. There is only one other female besides me at work and as such there is mucho toilet seat adjustment
23. #22 annoys me to the point of insisting that should I ever leave this job, the next one will have me only work with other women (Stage Manager at Steve’s Boobie/Strip Palace sounds like a glitzy job, and YAY for Employee only bathrooms!!)
24. I have an inexplicable girllycrush on Dita Von Teese
25. The sight of Lindsay Lohan makes me want to throw up in my mouth
26. I’m a big fan of old Hollywood glamour
27. I love my niece more than I ever thought possible and there is NOTHING I wouldn’t do to keep her safe, happy and healthy
28. I like to play World of Warcraft but am thankfully not as enamored with it as some people ( MOM, JESSICA)
29. I have seen Forrest Gump about 17 times
30. I think Alan Rickman is awesome
31. One of my other favorite words is awesome and all it’s derivatives
32. I am a Scorpio
33. Scorpio’s are awesome ;-)
34. I don’t understand certain peoples (and by that I mean Celebrities) desire to give their children humiliating, and future mental illness causing names.
35. I also don’t understand peoples need to change the long standing and perfectly good spellings of names just to make it ‘unique’ nobody knows that your name is unique unless you spell it out every time you introduce yourself. (can you picture it? “Hello my name is Miranda, spelled Mirwhejfuekdanda, the ‘whejfuekd’ is silent. Isn’t that unique?”)
36. Contortionists gross me out (no offense to contortionists)
37. My dream of becoming a celebrity through my awesome blog is unlikely to come to fruition cause I don’t even have a mediocre blog, or… any blog at all
38. I hate hypocrites
39. I hate people that try to force their own beliefs on others, please just accept that some of us don’t want to get up early on Sunday, enjoy celebrating birthdays and Christmas, and after living in the great frozen tundra that is Canada consider an eternity in hell a nice balmy holiday
40. And before you start hating on me for the ‘great frozen tundra’ remark, let me state for the record… I fucking LOVE Canada, I’m just not crazy about our somewhat pansyish government
41. I find it physically and mentally impossible to pick one favorite song
42. I love escargot
43. I hate tomatos, but love Ketchup (there’s that lesson in contradictions thing again)
44. I look ridiculous when phrases such as “what up dog?” and “fo shizz bi-atchs” come out of my mouth ( of course most people look ridiculous when they say that)
45. When life gives you lemons, whip them at the assholes the pissed you off, hope they get juice in their eyes, and carry on your merry way.
46. I have a big thing for accents, especially English, Irish, Scottish, and Australian, I also like Russian
47. Despite living for 23 years with a fairly deranged family I find it difficult to come up with 100 random things about myself
48. I like to shoot pool
49. I have shot a machine gun, and a couple hand guns, and bow and arrows all before the age of about 10 (and no I was not raised in a Ghetto)
50. One of my guiltiest pleasures is … (pfft you didn’t really think I was gonna tell YOU did you?)
51. I once kicked my brother down a flight of stairs… then ran down the stairs and stomped on him while he was laying on the landing writhing in pain (one of my finer moments, I think)
52. Love you Brenty HAAHAHA heh
53. When I was a kid I used to be able to lay on my back on the floor and flip my legs up so my knees touched the floor on either side of my head ( that seemed a lot more innocent when I was a kid, and no I can’t still do it)
54. Are you still reading this? (stalker)
55. I am 3 years, 3 months and 3 days older than my cousin Nikki (she’s good people and I loves her)
56. Her little sister Sammy will perpetually be about 10 years old ( she’s good people too, and I loves her also)
57. I can pretty much count on one hand how many times my hair has not been in a ponytail or some variation of in the last year.
58. I want to travel the world
59. I want to learn another language
60. My dad is the original grumpy old man and has written or rewritten more limericks, rhymes, and songs to be appallingly (and there for hilariously) dirty than anyone I have ever met (He’s awesome)
61. I like the show Freaks and Geeks, seriously dudes, youtube it, if for no other reason than the copious amount of James Franco (yums)
62. Despite my deep and enduring love for James Franco I have only seen parts of one of the spider man movies (mostly cause the dorky whineness of Toby Maguire almost completely negates the hotness of James Franco, I also hate Kirsten Dunst with the heat of a thousand burning suns and think she should’ve quit acting after she reached her peak in Interview with the Vampire, same goes for Tom Cruise)
63. I hate Tom Cruise
64. I think Katie Holmes was entirely the wrong choice for Rachel in Batman Begins and Maggie Gyllenhall ( or however you spell that) wasn’t much better (Michael Caine MAKES those movies, I also love Liam Niesen, and to a lesser extent Christian Bale)
65. Heath Ledger did such an amazing job as the Joker I had to give him his own number
66. I think the best eye candy movies in the history of movies are 300, the Ocean’s Trilogy, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy
67. I am in love with Johnny Depp and hate hate hate Vanessa Paradise (only cause she’s with him, I’m sure she’s perfectly nice)
68. My very first celebrity crush was Adrian Paul (I was like 7 and he had such pretty hair in Highlander)
69. I have a thing for guys with longish hair
70. I have a problem dating guys that are shorter than me (the problem is that at 6’ it’s hard to find guys taller than me)
71. I hate people that walk slow, especially down the middle of the road, or in parking lots (one of these days I’ma gonna get fed up and just run over your tortoise impersonating ass)
72. I wanna bitch slap Naomi Campbell and Jennifer Lopez … and her ugly ass husband
73. I am a firm believer that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are trying to raise a multicultural army to take over the world (I also find it odd that little Shiloh has such light blonde hair)
74. I can’t wait for the next Fast and the Furious movie to come out (Vin Diesel is a babe)
75. I love history, and learning about other cultures (it amuses me that no matter how “advanced” mankind becomes we are still fighting over the same damn things!!)
76. I think that humans are their own worst enemies and that if there is a God and he is responsible for us having free will, given the current state of the world, he’s probably kicking himself in the ass (cause being god he can totally do that) and so he should
77. I don’t wear jewelry
78. My mom is awesome cause she hates her job and still goes everyday (Mom, when I win the lottery can I be there when you quit?)
79. I like hats
80. I think that the Taj Mahal is one of the most beautiful buildings in the world, I’m also a big fan of Saint Basil’s Cathedral
81. When I’m rich I want to build a replica of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon (doesn’t that sound so pretty?)
82. That’s it can’t think of anymore, tootles